Why Healthy Boundaries For The Highly Sensitive Child Is So Important
Learn why healthy boundaries for the highly sensitive child is necessary in our modern day living. Why helping your child set and maintain healthy boundaries will help nurture a happy, healthy sensitive child and adult. Understand why so many empathic or highly sensitive children struggle to set and maintain boundaries. Learn what you can do to support your highly sensitive child or empathic child create and maintain healthy boundaries.
What Are The Traits Of A Highly Sensitive Child?
Well lets look closely at what being highly sensitive actually mean. Someone who is highly sensitive, has a more finely tuned sensory system. They tend to process far more information than most people. Dr Elaine Aaron a HSP, Highly Sensitive Person expert states “A highly sensitive child is one of the fifteen to twenty percent of children born with a nervous system that is highly aware and quick to react to everything.” Here is 7 Signs Your Child Is Highly Sensitive.
My Own Challenges As A Highly Sensitive Child
As a highly sensitive and empathic child and adult I spent a large part of my life struggling to set boundaries. Because in many ways my sensitivity made me feel deeply and my empathic traits meant I felt people’s pain. In many was it was more natural to know other’s needs than my own. So like most highly sensitive children I was the constant people pleaser.
Like most highly sensitive children, lack of boundaries was my greatest source of anxiety and di-stress. My lack of boundaries, my empathic fear of hurting other’s led me to hurting and de-valuing myself. So I never owned my truth, I didn’t know how to stand in my own power or assert my own needs. In many ways I became more of a victim of my sensitivity and my empathic traits. Instead of letting my sensitivity protect and serve me. I even formed distorted beliefs that everyone was going through a more difficult time than me. I took on others view that my sensitivity was a weakness, a character flaw or a sign of immaturity. Because that is how too many people perceive the highly sensitive child.
Setting Healthy Boundaries For The Highly Sensitive Child
A highly sensitive child needs to develop healthy boundaries to remain happy and healthy. They need to know what is healthy for them and what is not. And although part of being a parent is helping a child stretch out of their comfort zone. It is important to recognise when your stretching your child in a healthy way or traumatic way.
The highly sensitive child is so deeply tuned into the world and people around them. The empathic child is often entangled with the emotional pain, thoughts from the those around them. That they need to be able to disengage, recognise that other people’s pain, drama does not belongs to them. Understand they are not here to be everyone’s fixer, healer, supporter… If they don’t learn how to seperate them self from other people’s energy and emotions as a child. It is a far more challenging problem later in life.
Why Lack Of Boundaries In The HSP Increase Anxiety And Stress
As a highly sensitive empath I formed very distorted beliefs around boundaries. So scared of hurting other people that I caused more harm to myself. I was a constant people pleaser and didn’t even realise it. In many ways my lack of boundaries, my lack of assertiveness was my greatest source anxiety as a child. And main cause of stress as an adult. Hardly suprising I ended up with chronic health challenges from a young age.
Empathic children feel so much, they can become more easily exhausted by other people’s negativity, drama and pain. Lack of clear boundaries in the highly sensitive child leads to poor self-care, self-worth and self-love issues in adulthood. Your child’s interpretation of the world and their experiences, shapes their conscious and unconsciousness mind. When your child’s sensitivity is not honoured or respected, it becomes more of a struggle, a curse than a gift.
Why Highly Empathic Children Absorb Other People’s Pain And Negative Thought Patterns
The empath has less us and them tendencies, so the highly empathic child is naturally less boundaried. Boundaries often feel very alien to the empath. Now is this nature or nurture? I think it is more likely to be a bit of both. Especially in our modern busy world where we are very dis-connected from our self, our body and our spiritual needs. The empath is much more affected by other people’s anxiety and stress.
Today many highly sensitive children are living in a constant state of anxiety. This constant state of pressure to fit into a society of so many rules, expectations, goals, tasks and distractions. The highly empathic child is far more likely not just to feel this emotional pain and pressure. But the empathic child will often absorb it or take it on. They will then want to fix it, heal it, do something to make it go away. That is why so many empaths get over identified with other people’s problems.
So you see the highly sensitive and empathic child NEEDS to not learn how to set and maintain healthy boundaries. To stop being the people pleaser, stop being the victim.
How Your Unhealthy Boundaries Effects Your Highly Sensitive Child
If you the parent of a highly sensitive have unhealthy boundaries, low self-esteem and self-worth issues. You are more likely to transfer these tendencies onto your child. If you are too controlling or demanding you will squash your childs self-esteem, self-worth and self-value. Your child is more likely to fall into a more passive or victim role out of fear and trauma. Become the people pleaser, the caregiver, healers, fixer, peacemaker.
How Your Unhealthy Boundaries Impact Your Highly Empathic Child
The highly sempathic child can too easily believe that they are here to put everyone else’s needs before their own. One reason why many abused highly empathic or sensitive children go into self-destruct. At a core level the highly empathic child is so entangled by other people’s needs and emotional baggage. They struggle to make decisions that are free from anxiety or fear. The abused sensitive child will often be unconsciously traumatised and enmeshed in the perpetrators wounding and guilt. Struggle to identify what is their pain and what is someone else’s.
So it is very important that your highly sensitive kid, your highly empathic kid learns how to nurture healthy boundaries. Here is some simple ways you can support them.
Parenting Tips – Healthy Boundaries For The Highly Sensitive Child
Help your sensitive child recognise their value and worth. If you help your child know and recognise they are enough. Teach your child they are just as important than everyone around them. They will understand their sensitivity doesn’t need to be a curse or struggle. To help them appreciate their heightened awareness is their very own navigation system and inner compass.
Support your child to develop more healthy physical and energetic boundaries. Teach your child how to be more body aware; e.g body is telling them it’s time for bed. What they like and dislike physically; eat, smell, listen to, touch or to be touched and appropriateness. As sensitive child are often less likely to say no to, stand up for themself. The more a highly sensitive child learn to develop stronger physical boundaries it will help them be more resilient energetically. Highly sensitive and empathic children are more likely to be ungrounded. So encouraging more grounding activities into their day will help them be more naturaly in their body, more intune with their own physical needs.
Listen to your highly sensitive child; HSP’s are very intuitive, very guided if they are very empathic they often have a whole lot of other gifts. That give them the ability to sense things that you can’t even if you are highly sensitive. Your child’s energy field is less distorted, it is more pure so it can often see through people and situations much more clearly.
Teach your highly sensitive child to say NO to their friends and siblings in approriate situations. It can be too easy to encourage the highly sensitive child to give into other family members around then to make life easier for you. But a highly sensitive child has to be constantly reminded of 1 they need to learn their needs, their wants are valid.
Heal your own wounding, your own trauma, your own unhealthy conditioning and beliefs. Healing your inner child, is one of the biggest things that will help you and your child.
Encourage your child to become more self-aware of their own needs, energy by being more in the moment, more in their body. Meditation is one of the most powerful things you can teach any child especially the highly empathic or sensitive child.