Unruly Empaths – When Everyone Wants A Piece Of You
Empaths When Everyone Wants A Piece Of You
One of the biggest challenges many empaths have is they get burned out and overwhelmed with empathy fatigue. They can feel energetically scattered and feel that everyone wants a piece of them. The problem is there is a lot of myths and different opinions around being an empath. So many people struggle to understand the unique challenges empaths face.
As Dr. Elaine Aaron and Dr. Northrup suggest there are a lot more people who think they are empaths than they are. Just because you have empathic traits but that doesn’t mean you are an empath.
Unhealthy Empath
Especially if you are the unhealthy type of empath who automatically wants to help fix, heal, nurture, care, or support anyone who you think needs it. You will end up with some sort of burnout or dis-ease. Because unconsciously you absorb other people’s pain often while other’s feed off and deplete your energy.
This can be an unhealthy cycle many empaths struggle to break. For a variety of reasons, one is that consciously and unconsciously empaths tend to be strong caretakers, altruists, are motivated by being of service.
Often so in tune with other people’s pain, so used to absorbing all sorts of energy around them. That saying no and having boundaries can feel as if it goes against your soul’s mission and soul essence.
Empaths Need To Learn How To Say NO
As an empath and/or sensitive you have to be able to say no, you need to learn how to have strong boundaries. You have to be energetically aware when others are trying to push their agenda and needs onto you. At a cost to you. You are the only person who knows what you can give to others healthily and what you can’t, something I still work on. And yes for most empaths boundaries is not something that comes easily.
Why Empaths Attract The Needy, The Narcissists, and Energetic Vampires
So many empaths attract the needy, the narcissists, and the energy vampires. If we are not fully in our body or mindful don’t it can be harder to detect when we are being sucked dry energetically by another person until after the event.
So many of us have spent most of our life enmeshed in other people’s drama, energy, and pain that we genuinely don’t recognise our own needs or feelings in the situation.
Energetic Boundaries And Self Awareness For Empaths
So energetic and boundary awareness is something unboundaried empaths need to work on. Anyone who struggles with energetic boundaries can also be more easily swayed by other people’s ideas, and thoughts because of the dis-entanglement of energetic thought patterns.
If you were discouraged from standing up for your own needs as a child or were silenced in some way. Lack of assertiveness and boundaries has to be addressed alongside a deep recognition that your needs are as important as others.
Inner Child Healing And Therapy
Inner Child work can help address our core woundings; trauma, beliefs and conditioning formed in childhood that can be a contributing factor of unhealthy and unruly empaths.
As a highly sensitive caring empath for as long as I can remember. I attracted many people and situations in my personal and business life that didn’t serve me. Why? Because I am a natural over giver, someone who for most of my life has been an energetic sponge.
When Everyone Wants A Piece Of You At Work
On one hand, it can extremely positive when you have skills and gifts people feel they want or need. But only when your gifts are being equally valued. When you are receiving the right exchange and energy efficiently in a healthy and balanced way.
But so many empaths in businesses not only undervalue their worth but are so motivated by service to others. Their business can easily become more of a charity rather than a business. Often letting their empathic nature get in the way of vital business decisions. Empaths in business often attract too many freebie seekers, and those strong in their shadow eternal child or victim archetypes.
When You Attract Mostly The Freebie Seekers
For years I attracted as a highly empathic nurturer and caregiver I attracted so many of the wrong clients and the wrong audience. Despite always giving many freebies in my business. I would receive so many emails and Facebook messages from those looking for favors, discounts, or freebies.
As someone who lived on their own, self-employed with a lot of disabilities and health challenges that impacted my daily life and work great. I had to learn to set healthier boundaries and stop giving into clients and students that were often not being completely honest with themself or me.
Most importantly I need to remind myself daily that I need to be served in life to serve others.
When everyone wants a piece of you for free, in-fact expects a piece of you for free, that is something that has to be addressed.
The Problem With People Pleasing Empath
If you have been a people pleaser most of your life, as an empath it can be harder to say NO than the person asking will ever realise. As you are so energetically aware of that person’s emotional pain and vulnerabilities.
Now I run quite a few free Facebook groups for many years but I closed many of them down because of some of the crazy expectations and sense of entitlement.
So many personal messages from people who assumed I should give my time, energy, wisdom, and even courses for free. Despite already offering a plethora of resources; free blogs, podcasts, videos, self-study, and live training. Even more surprising was the amount of manipulation from a group of empaths and highly sensitive people.
Empaths Tips – What You Can Do To Take Your Power Back
Develop Self Awareness
when we develop more awareness of the self and our energy we can become more detached from the drama and projections of others. We are less likely to be triggered by our empathic vulnerabilities. One of the easiest ways to do that is to learn effective meditation techniques. Check out my 5 Minute Meditation a powerful meditation tool.
Know Your Needs Are Your Priority
it is vital you work on recognising you are just as important as those around you. You need to be able to take care of your needs before you help anyone else. Lemon oil can help us get more clarity and focus.
Step Back Energetically
consciously step away from their energy and get grounded. If you have to imagine you are removing that person from your energy field or unhooking them, do so. Most people have no awareness they are hooking in on or taking from someone energetically. They are just like everyone else on the planet unconsciously trying to get a need filled. Learn to protect your energy with the right energy clearing and energy protection tools.
Take Time Out
take plenty of time to unplug from everything, especially others’ energy fields. So you energetically get back into your own body. Even moving yourself to another room or outside, space from the situation for a few minutes can help.
Don’t Overthink It
don’t allow the ruminating mind to take over. Oh, I should be helping them…it’s a shame…
Disentangle From Others’ Victimhood And Manipulation
Don’t allow someone else’s victimhood or manipulation to hook you into their mess. This is simply a subtle form of control, that people use to get what they want out of a situation.
Access Your Inner Wisdom
allow your inner guidance to make the right decisions again don’t let others sway your decisions. As a very highly sensitive empath and intuitive who has worked with energy for over 30 years. I often have a deep sense of knowing or feeling others’ energetic motives which others are unaware of. When I allow others views to cloud my guidance it usually doesn’t serve me.
Heal Your Inner Child
Heal the childhood experiences that have made you believe you have to fix, nurture, care, support, and heal others. Heal the inner child that struggles or doesn’t know how to set energetic boundaries.
