How To STOP Giving Your Power Away Today
How to stop giving your power away especially when you are highly empathic or highly sensitive? We are so enmeshed in other people’s needs, other people’s pain, and emotional needs. We constantly feed them instead of ourselves, we become the victim.
Stop Giving Your Power Away To Your Loved One’s
It is so easy to hand over our power to your loved ones, your partner, your family, your friends, even colleagues without realising it. We do this by allowing others to control, manipulate, or push us into choices that are not ours and even worse not in our best interest. These situations will often exhaust us, deplete us, diminish, and can even devalue our sense of self, self-worth, and self-esteem.
So many of us give our power away to our fears, distorted beliefs our addictions. We constantly dis-empower, dis-honour, and dis-respect ourselves on a daily basis.
Why? Because we have a very distorted perception of ourselves and the world around us. So we end up creating life-long unhealthy patterns that sabotage our health and happiness on a daily basis. Ironically one of the biggest forms of dis-empowerment is the way we give control over our health to other people.
Are You Giving Your Power Away To Your Doctor Or Therapist?
We often assume that those who help support us with our health and wellbeing, even our spirituality have our best interests at heart. But every time you hand over decisions of your body, mind, emotions, and or spirit to another person without checking in if this feels right for you, you may well opening yourself up to an element of dis-empowerment.
Look at the culture in the west of how much we expect our Dr to heal, fix, or treat health conditions or symptoms caused by unhealthy lifestyle choices. Another example of giving your power away and not taking responsibility for our own wellbeing. We live in a world wherein many ways we are conditioned to give our power and decision-making away to someone else, that is not only disempowering but potentially damaging on so many levels.
Are You Giving Your Power Away To Psychics, Mediums, Or Horoscope Predictions?
Or too much power over to a Coach, Healer, or Spiritual Teacher?
Stop, take time to get centered, and aware of where you are handing your power or leaking energy?
As healers, we are here to help, sometimes guide or teach you. But you should never give your power away or over to us. We are here to help empower you, we are here to help hold a space of healing, even challenge, question and yes sometimes trigger you? In-fact in some ways, we are not here to be liked even though we are here to do right by you.
But sadly there can be a misuse of power and harmful practice in coaching, healing, and spiritual teaching. Harmful practice in the holistic therapy industry nearly cost me my eye and another cost me serious liver toxicity. I was young, naive, vulnerable, and trusted the wrong therapists.
Stop giving your life away to other people.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
Unfortunately today we live in a society where are at our core we feel we are not enough. This feeling of lack of not enough triggers a deep need in many people to have more, be more to such an extent they will do almost anything to get more.
This lack will even try to destroy or dis-empower others in their struggle to appear more special, more spiritual, more awakened, more successful.
Look at the generation we are living in, one where you can literally buy anything at the press of a button. One of the most concerning is the ability to get a certificate or diploma in something in over a few days to a few weeks in something that would previously take a year or two.
Every day individuals are naively giving their power and lots of hard-earned cash away to anyone or anyone who promises them something faster, easier; instant transformation, instant success.
So it is important than ever to become more mindful of your daily interactions.
It is so important to start listening to your inner guidance your own intuition, your own spiritual connection.
Is That Situation Or Person Enabling You Or Disabling You?
We are all human and we are all evolving but it is important to recognise when we are not being supported or empowered when we are being disempowered or controlled.
Being a highly sensitive empath for as long as I can remember. I only began to take a lot of my power back after a spiritual experience in intensive care where I was fighting for my life. And a few years later where I saw a visual energetic imprint of all these people’s opinions about the cause of my rare medical challenges. In many ways, it was so enlightening as I could see over 45 years’ worth of different medical professionals’ opinions, different healers, therapists, even family members, and friends’ opinions. A lot of other people’s beliefs that didn’t belong to me but which on some level I had taken into my energetic field.
Like so many people, so many empaths I didn’t recognise how much of my power I was giving away. I was a full-time people pleaser who gave my power away daily and didn’t even recognise it.
10 Ways To STOP Giving Your Power Away?
You get more grounded and centered. When you are more earthed, stable, and in your own body and energetic field. You are less likely to be dominated or manipulated by others’ energy or opinions. This is extremely important for empaths and sensitives who struggle with energetic boundaries.
Learn to meditate, make meditation an important daily practice. Meditation helps’ you connect with your inner wisdom and recognise what is right for you.
Stop making assumptions about other areas of skills, expertise, or wisdom. Just because they appear to be, suggest or even state never means they actually are. Learn the art of discernment. We often give our power away by simply assuming someone has more expertise, knowledge, and wisdom in a particular area. Do your homework
Take self-responsibility for your actions and in-actions, heal your inner child wounds. Don’t rely on others to fix, heal, sort, or solve situations. Yes, we all need a little bit of help at times. But if you need to learn a particular skill, need help to be for example to be more assertive, more confident in doing so. Do not expect others to do this for you.
Do not be scared to ask specific questions if you are unsure about a situation. For example, ask a Dr or therapist why they suggest or think this is the best form of therapy. Do not be shy about finding out more about someone’s level of expertise, testimonials of any claims made.
Be clear in your communication, what you need, what you believe, how you feel.
Don’t let someone rush you into a decision you are unsure about. It is okay to say I am unsure about this, I need time to think about it.
Set healthy boundaries as part of your daily routine and your mindset. Especially when you are highly empathic or sensitive, more anxious, stressed, or vulnerable.
Be mindful of unhealthy emotional traits, unhealthy thinking patterns. Where in your life are you an over pleaser, over giver, have unfound guilt, the wounded healer…?
Heal your inner child– heal those old distorted belief’s that entrap you into the people pleaser, the over giver, the over nurturer. Heal and teach the child who never learned about boundaries, who never learned to self-care.
As Marianne Williamson states in A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles” –
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”
One of the biggest challenges many empaths have is they can often feel energetically that everyone wants a piece of them. And as Dr. Elaine Aaron and Dr. Northrup suggests there is a lot more people who think they are empaths than they actually are. You may have empathic traits but that doesn’t mean you are an empath. So many many people struggle to understand the unique challenges empaths face.
Especially if you are the type of empath who automatically wants to help fix, heal, nurture, care, or support anyone who you think needs it. Because unconsciously you absorb their pain while they feed off and deplete your energy. This can be an unhealthy cycle many empaths struggle to break. Because consciously never mind unconsciously empaths are so used to being of service. They are so compassionate being in-tune with other people’s pain, so used to absorbing all sorts of energy around them. That saying no and having boundaries can feel as if it goes against your core essence.
The Empaths Need To Learn How To Say NO
As an empath and/or sensitive you have to be able to say no, you need to learn how to have really really strong boundaries. You have to be energetically aware when others are trying to push their agenda and needs onto you. At a cost to you. You are the only person who knows what you can give to others healthily and what you can’t, something I still work on. And yes for most empaths boundaries is not something that comes easily.
Why Empaths Attract The Needy, The Narcissists
So many empaths attract the needy, the narcissists, and the energy vampires. If we are not fully in our body or mindful don’t it is easy not to recognise when we are being sucked dry energetically by another person until after the event. So many of us have spent most of our life enmeshed in other people’s drama, energy, and pain that we genuinely don’t recognise our own needs or feelings in the situation.
So energetic and boundary awareness is something we seriously need to work on. Anyone who struggles with energetic boundaries can also be more easily swayed by other people’s ideas, thoughts because of the dis-entanglement of energetic thought patterns.
If you were discouraged from standing up for your own needs as a child or were silenced in some way. Lack of assertiveness and boundaries has to be addressed alongside a deep recognition that your needs are as important as others. Inner Child work can really help with this challenge because these beliefs and conditioning were formed in childhood.
As a highly sensitive caring empath for as long as I can remember. I attracted many people and situations in my personal and business life that didn’t serve me. Why? Because I am a natural over giver, someone who for most of my life has been an energetic sponge.
When Everyone Wants A Piece Of You At Work
On one hand, it can extremely positive when you have skills and gifts people feel they want or need. But only when your gifts are being equally valued, when you are receiving what you need in exchange for those gifts. And when you can actually balance your time and energy efficiently in a healthy and balanced way.
But so many empaths in businesses not only undervalue their worth but because they come from a place of service, their business can get easily get confused by the structure and model of a charity rather than a business. Often letting their empathic nature get in the way of vital business decisions. Empaths too easily attract the freebie seekers, the energy exchangers, even the manipulators.
Most people would be very surprised or may be shocked by how many emails and Facebook messages I get from people in a week expecting something for free. Now in many ways I love to help I am one of life’s nurturers and over givers. But I live on my own, I am self-employed part-time and have rare and chronic health challenges that impact my daily living and work great. So that comes with even more challenges. I get far easily depleted than most of the people around me. And can take far less clients than other coaches and therapists, I know.
I need to remind myself daily that I need to be served to serve, something that Kyle Gray talks about. When everyone wants a piece of you for free, in-fact expects a piece of you for free, that is something that has to be addressed. And something like you I need to address no matter how challenging it can be.
If you have been a people pleaser most of your life, it can be harder to say NO than the person asking will ever realise.
Now I have run quite a few free Facebook groups in the past but I closed them down because I was inundated by so many personal messages from people who assumed I should give my time, energy, wisdom, and even courses for free. Despite already offering a wide range of resources for free blogs, podcasts, free self-study, and live courses. And what was even more surprising was from a group who were supposed to be empaths and highly sensitive people.
Empaths Tips – What You Can Do
- Develop Self Awareness – when we develop more awareness of the self and our energy we can become more detached from the drama and projections of others. We are less likely to be triggered by our empathic vulnerabilities. One of the easiest ways to do that is to learn effective meditation techniques. Check out my 5 Minute Meditation a powerful meditation tool
- Know Your Needs Are Your Priority – it is vital you work on recognising you are just as important as those around you. You need to be able to take care of your needs before you help anyone else.
- Step Back Energetically – consciously step away from their energy. If you have to imagine you are removing that person from your energy field or unhooking them, do so. Most people have no awareness they are hooking in on or taking from someone energetically. They are just like everyone else on the planet unconsciously trying to get a need filled.
- Take Time Out – take plenty of time to unplug from everything especially others’ energy fields. So you energetically get back into your own body. Even moving yourself to another room or outside, space from the situation for a few minutes can help.
- Don’t Over Think It – don’t allow the ruminating mind to take over. Oh, I should be helping them…it’s a shame…
- Don’t Take On Their Manipulation – don’t allow someone else’s victimhood or manipulation to hook you into their mess. This is simply a subtle form of control, that people use to get what they want out of a situation.
- Access Your Own Inner Wisdom – allow your own inner guidance to make the right decisions again don’t let others sway your decisions. As a very highly sensitive empath and intuitive who has worked with energy for over 25 years. I often have a deep sense of knowing or feel others’ energetic motives which others are unaware of. When I allow others views to cloud my own guidance it usually doesn’t serve me.
- Heal Your Inner Child – heal the childhood experiences that have had you believe you have to fix, nurture, care, support, heal others. Heal the inner child that struggles or doesn’t know how to set energetic boundaries
Why Highly Sensitive Coaches Struggle Financially In Their Business
One of the biggest challenges many highly sensitive coaches, therapists and healers have is they have all sorts of struggles with financial abundance. They can have all sorts of challenges in their business and their life because of this. I know being a self-employed highly sensitive empath, coach and healer for over 18 years.
Main Motivation Of The Highly Sensitive Coach
The highly sensitive person or empaths driving motivation can appear in many ways to be related to the top of maslows hierachy needs instead of the bottom. The highly sensitive coach is often not driven by the same money goals that most other coaches are. Their client, work and financial relationship is often far more complex.
What I witnessed as both a coach/trainer and client to many coaches and therapists. In-fact even as a client to many coaches and healers over a 25 year period. Was that many of the most gifted and qualified coaches/ therapists were highly empathic and HSP. They were also are the most likley to under charge in comparison to some of the most awful coaches and healers who charged premium prices.
So let’s look more deeply at why the HSP Coach tends to struggle with financial abundance
The Success Struggles Of The Highly Sensitive Coach
Highly Sensitive Coaches are motivated by self-actualization in many ways this takes dominance. They are very much more focused on the spiritual self.
Highly Empathic Coaches can be so aware or entangled up with other’s pain they just want to be of service, they forget they are actually running a business.
The Highly Sensitive And Empathic Coach is often more dominated by their altruistic traits so not driven by money or financial success.
The Highly Sensitive Coach often resists the business, marketing and technical aspect of their business. Many Empathic or HSP Coaches fear the business and marketing part of the business. This can cause them great distress and anxiety.
How You Can Start Healing Your Money And Abundance Struggles
Traditional based Meditation Techniques and grounding strategies including spending time in nature help support and heal the root chakra. It is important you address root level challenges, conditioning, and beliefs that need to be addressed.
Be More Open To Receiving
Often life’s over givers, carers, healers, therapists and empathic coaches come from such a place of lack of over-giving, they have forgotten how to receive. Don’t get caught up in how the universe gives/provides, trust, and be open to receiving the help and support in whatever shape it comes. Focus on gratitude daily this will increase your vibration.
Heal Your Wounds
If you are highly empathic or highly sensitive and affected deeply by other people’s energy. Heal your own wounds, heal your own issues by healing your inner child. Being aware of other’s pain and taking others’ pain are two very different things. Many coaches and healers can go into this type of work because of their own life challenges which are still being healed. This can take time but it is vital you address them.
Own your uniqueness, your spark of wonder, your specific gifts you are here to share with your clients. So many highly sensitive coaches doubt their own abilities, stop focusing on what everyone else is offering or charging, do your own thing. Stop giving your energy and power away.
Face Your Fears
Face and address your own sabotaging fears or sabotaging patterns of behaviour. There is no point focusing on a law of attraction mindset if you are trying to suppress or deny what needs to be addressed. What we resist persists, what we suppress will eventually come to the surface.
Own Your Coaching Business
Start owning you are a business service, address any issues you have around this. At least 90% of the coaches and therapists I work with struggle for many years because they view themself as for example lightworkers who are helping people so they shouldn’t need to advertise. Sadly so many of them rarely show up and never survive, stuck in the sand believing they are doing such great work that everyone should find them. If you charge you are in business.
When you get connected with spirit, god, and your essence. You live each day with a bigger sense of confidence, calm, and trust. You get out of your fearful sabotaging head and into a state of being. And how can you do that, well with the right type of meditation. The type of meditation or technique that helps you access that sense of presence, stillness, and inner wisdom at almost the switch of a button. When we can bring in a state of peace, stillness, and connectedness to our moment to moment life. Our fearful sabotaging mind starts to fall away.
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