Why Empaths Find Creating Boundaries So Painful

Why Empaths Find Creating Boundaries So Painful

Why Is Creating Boundaries With Family, Friends And Colleagues So Hard When You Are An Empath!

Relationships are complex and in some ways so are boundaries.

Unless you learn how to have healthy boundaries at a young age, creating boundaries can be a BIG problem.

Depending on family dynamics, attachment styles, inner child wounding and the roles we play out in life, some boundaries can seem easier to set than others.

Why Do Empaths Struggle With Creating Boundaries In Relationships

Why Empaths Struggle With Creating Boundaries

For many empaths, caregivers and rescuers creating healthy boundaries can feel not just unnatural, but emotionally painful That is why creating boundaries is something many empaths need to develop.

Many empaths are so over identified with other people’s energy and emotions. That many sense, see, feel and/or know what other people are experiencing.

They unconsciously sense and scan their surroundings. And if they are a highly sensitive empath, their antenna is so finely tuned to the world around they can easily become overwhelmed by the signals that other people are giving off.

It is one of the reasons many empaths can become a victim to their level of awareness and gifts if they haven’t learned to set healthy boundaries.

Why Many Empaths Become Chronic People Pleasers

Many Empaths were not taught how to set healthy boundaries from childhood. Many are prominent caregivers or had to self-parent from an early age so spend a lot of their childhood and adulthood caring and serving others. And carry a lot of unfounded guilt and worthiness, that other people’s pain and wounding is more important than others.

This can show up in a variety of ways such as caregiver, nurturer, helper, rescuer, chronic people pleaser, the wounded healer.

I know I spent most of my life as a chronic people pleaser who struggled with maintaining or creating boundaries despite seeking all sorts of help in this area. Doing all sorts of assertiveness training, self development, spiritual and shadow work.

An unruly empath is so deeply over identified with other people’s pain and wounding that my sense of what was mine and their was very distorted.

But the reality is creating healthy boundaries is the important line that prevents compassion fatigue and empath burnout.

The world needs more love and compassion, but how do we do that without a cost to our wellbeing.

Having Compassionate Boundaries


Right now so many people are struggling mentally, we are seeing a lot of either emotional detachment and the opposite deep fear, anger or frustration.

And if you are highly empathic or sensitive you are going to be more conscious of it or even be a victim to it. An even more important reason for setting strong yet loving boundaries with those around you.

But the deeper issues right now is most people are very ungrounded at the moment. Very detached from their body, their soul, intuition and discernment.
Which is actually keeping them stuck in a pattern of mental and emotional anguish.


It is much harder to create boundaries in our relationships when we are in our head, when are in a state of anxiety. That is why as therapists, as coaches and healer we need to stay grounded to create boundaries in our work. We need to get into our heart and soul to maintain compassionate yet strong boundaries.

Supportive Tips For Creating Boundaries

Meditate Daily:

Meditation can help us get out of our head and stop is being reactive to other people’s pain and wounding. And help us both detach from other people

s expectations and become more mindful of our own needs and inner guidance.

Become More Energetically Aware:

Empaths really struggle with identifying what is there feelings and emotions and what is other people’s. The empath can often take on the other person’s pain and wounding which make sit more difficult to set boundaries. So it is important to become more energetically aware of what is your energy and what is other peoples.

Get Clear On Your Non-Negotiables

The more clear you are around your needs and desires. And what is really important to you, it is easier to clearly communicate and assert your needs.

Walnut Bach Essence:

Walnut Flower Remedy is a useful essence from the original Bach Flower Remedies that helps give us a protective energetic boundary between us and the world around us. And helps us adapt to change in a more natural and healthy way.

Centaury Flower Remedy is very helpful flower essence for those who struggle to say no, have lost or tend to loose their sense of identity, when they are around others. Centaury can help us become more assertive about our own needs and desires.

On Guard Essential Oil:

During an extremely challenging time after being seriously ill when my empathy and sensitive was out of control On Guard Essential Oil from Doterra was extremely helpful.

Inner Child Healing:

Heal your inner child trauma, unhealthy patterns and distortions such as unworthiness, low self-worth and low self-esteem, unhealthy attachment styles that are contributing to your resistance setting boundaries.

Get More Grounded:

The more fully you are in your body, than in your mind it is easier to feel empowered and strong enough to set boundaries. That is why being strongly grounded is so important for empaths.



If this is an area you really struggle with check out my Grounding Toolkit that really is for anyone who needs help in getting more centred and grounded.

Easy Grounding Techniques For Empaths, Healers & Coaches
Easy Grounding Techniques for empaths to help you feel more centred and empowered, grounded enough to aid creating boundaries
7 Ways To Calm Down A Hyperactive Child

7 Ways To Calm Down A Hyperactive Child

How To Calm Down A Hyperactive Child

Top tips how to calm down an overstimulated hyperactive child or child with ADHD. Understanding hyperactivity and children and how to deal with in the most calm and effective way.

What is Hyperactivity?

Hyperactivity is a state of mental, emotional and physical over-activity. Kids with Attention Deficient Hyperactivity Disorder can be in a perpetual state of stress due to their hyper-sensitivity. A hyperactive child is more easily triggered by internal and external anxiety and stressors.”While hyperactivity is most commonly associated with ADHD, individuals might also have difficulty with a brain or nervous system disorder, emotional disorder, or hyperthyroidism.” SpecialNeeds.com 

Symptoms Of A Hyperactive Child

Behaviours and symptoms of a hyperactive child can be extremely varied. But common symptoms of hyperactivity include fidgeting, poor focus and concentration. As well as impulsiveness, irritability and aggressiveness, emotional outbursts and overwhelm. A hyperactive child maybe something you have to deal with more than just, daily or weekly. Especially with so much technology and information overload, so many kids parties and event.This can be stressful and exhaustion for you the parent, caregiver or educator. So it is important to manage or reduce the risks of hyperactivity and overstimulation as much as possible.

How to calm down a hyperactive child, a child with adhd

Here is 7 Tips To Calm Down A Hyperactive Child

Be Calm, Firm But Caring

A hyperactive child is a child in a highly over stimulated, emotional or stressed state. So it is important to approach the situation in a calm confident yet firm and caring way.The last thing you want is your anxiety, stress or emotional frustration fuelling the situation.

Most parents and caregivers have anxiety and stress so it is important to mange your own anxiety,stress  and triggers in a healthy way.The more relaxed and calm you are, the easier it is set clear caring boundaries with your child. For toddlers a firm and strong stop hand signal can give a clear message.

Especially done at eye to eye level, not hovering down or pointing a finger. Which can trigger more fear or emotional frustration.

Remove Your Hyperactive Child From Their Stressors

Removing your hyperactive child to a more calming environment or activity with is more grounding like a walk in the nature can be extremely helpful.

Or simply removing or distracting them from any sort of stimulant internally or externally will help encourage your child’s mind, body and emotions off the stress response and back into a calm and balanced state.

We are all more easily stressed by noises, lights, smells, other people’s energy and emotions when we are hyper-alert.

Free 5 Minute Meditation For Families, Adults, Teenagers, Young kids

Redirect Your Hyperactive Child To Release Excessive Energy

Encouraging a hyperactive child to use their bursts of energy in a far more focused and healthy way can help. That is why short bursts of directed exercise like doing a short sprint can be helpful. Young children can learn to shake their body like a deer does, after it freezes during a stressful event.

Any activity with a certain amount of heavy lifting can also be helpful as it requires a certain amount of focus.

Although because hyperactivity is usually triggered by sensory, stimulus or information overload followed by emotional melt downs and exhaustion. It is important not to push a hyperactive child into too much physical activity that is going to burn them out. The  main reason no 4 and 7 are so important.

Teach Your Child How To Manage And Reduce Their Stress

When a child can manage their own emotions and stress they feel more calm, confident and in control. They are less frustrated and overwhelmed. Children can learn how to relax properly with breathing or relaxation techniques. Many younger kids find blowing bubbles deeply calming.  A child’s ability to switch off and relax is vital to get deep restful sleep.

Teach Your Hyperactive Child How To Meditate

Teach a child the right type of meditation skill and you give them a friend for life. Meditation gives your child an empowering self-help tool for life. My meditation and mindfulness program for kids teaches both parent and child how to meditate in a fun and practical manner for the whole family.

Lavender For Your Hyperactive Child

Lavender essential oil is a really safe and effective oil for most ages of children when used the right way. Making up a lavender aroma ball like these by NYR Remedies To Roll can be deeply calming, soothing and relaxing.

Lavender bath salts or Pure Lavender oil can be added to the bath to be used as a sleep aid especially when deep quality sleep is so important for the hyperactive or ADDHD child. Make sure you don’t use products with synthetic fragrances or perfumes, pure essentials especially organic essential oils are natural and toxin free.

Reduce Internal Stimulants

Eliminate Stimulants i.e. sugar, artificial sweeteners, colourings especially energy drinks seriously over-stimulate the mind, body and emotions. Even foods your child is slightly intolerant to, can be too stimulating.

The reality is most foods in our supermarkets are full of refined sugars or man made ingredients, pesticides or preservatives which play havoc with our body our sugar levels and nervous system. When possible a fresh raw organic diet as much as possible can help nurture your child’s mind, body and emotions.

Fast Effective Simple Meditation for the family