Why Empaths Find Creating Boundaries So Painful

Why Is Creating Boundaries With Family, Friends And Colleagues So Hard When You Are An Empath!

Relationships are complex and in some ways so are boundaries.

Unless you learn how to have healthy boundaries at a young age, creating boundaries can be a BIG problem.

Depending on family dynamics, attachment styles, inner child wounding and the roles we play out in life, some boundaries can seem easier to set than others.

Why Empaths Struggle With Creating Boundaries

For many empaths, caregivers and rescuers creating healthy boundaries can feel not just unnatural, but emotionally painful That is why creating boundaries is something many empaths need to develop.

Many empaths are so over identified with other people’s energy and emotions. That many sense, see, feel and/or know what other people are experiencing.

They unconsciously sense and scan their surroundings. And if they are a highly sensitive empath, their antenna is so finely tuned to the world around they can easily become overwhelmed by the signals that other people are giving off.

It is one of the reasons many empaths can become a victim to their level of awareness and gifts if they haven’t learned to set healthy boundaries.

Why Many Empaths Become Chronic People Pleasers

Many Empaths were not taught how to set healthy boundaries from childhood. Many are prominent caregivers or had to self-parent from an early age so spend a lot of their childhood and adulthood caring and serving others. And carry a lot of unfounded guilt and worthiness, that other people’s pain and wounding is more important than others.

This can show up in a variety of ways such as caregiver, nurturer, helper, rescuer, chronic people pleaser, the wounded healer.

I know I spent most of my life as a chronic people pleaser who struggled with maintaining or creating boundaries despite seeking all sorts of help in this area. Doing all sorts of assertiveness training, self development, spiritual and shadow work.

An unruly empath is so deeply over identified with other people’s pain and wounding that my sense of what was mine and their was very distorted.

But the reality is creating healthy boundaries is the important line that prevents compassion fatigue and empath burnout.

The world needs more love and compassion, but how do we do that without a cost to our wellbeing.

Having Compassionate Boundaries

Right now so many people are struggling mentally, we are seeing a lot of either emotional detachment and the opposite deep fear, anger or frustration.

And if you are highly empathic or sensitive you are going to be more conscious of it or even be a victim to it. An even more important reason for setting strong yet loving boundaries with those around you.

But the deeper issues right now is most people are very ungrounded at the moment. Very detached from their body, their soul, intuition and discernment.
Which is actually keeping them stuck in a pattern of mental and emotional anguish.

It is much harder to create boundaries in our relationships when we are in our head, when are in a state of anxiety. That is why as therapists, as coaches and healer we need to stay grounded to create boundaries in our work. We need to get into our heart and soul to maintain compassionate yet strong boundaries.

Supportive Tips For Creating Boundaries

Meditate Daily:

Meditation can help us get out of our head and stop is being reactive to other people’s pain and wounding. And help us both detach from other people

s expectations and become more mindful of our own needs and inner guidance.

Become More Energetically Aware:

Empaths really struggle with identifying what is there feelings and emotions and what is other people’s. The empath can often take on the other person’s pain and wounding which make sit more difficult to set boundaries. So it is important to become more energetically aware of what is your energy and what is other peoples.

Get Clear On Your Non-Negotiables

The more clear you are around your needs and desires. And what is really important to you, it is easier to clearly communicate and assert your needs.

Walnut Bach Essence:

Walnut Flower Remedy is a useful essence from the original Bach Flower Remedies that helps give us a protective energetic boundary between us and the world around us. And helps us adapt to change in a more natural and healthy way.

Centaury Flower Remedy is very helpful flower essence for those who struggle to say no, have lost or tend to loose their sense of identity, when they are around others. Centaury can help us become more assertive about our own needs and desires.

On Guard Essential Oil:

During an extremely challenging time after being seriously ill when my empathy and sensitive was out of control On Guard Essential Oil from Doterra was extremely helpful.

Inner Child Healing:

Heal your inner child trauma, unhealthy patterns and distortions such as unworthiness, low self-worth and low self-esteem, unhealthy attachment styles that are contributing to your resistance setting boundaries.

Get More Grounded:

The more fully you are in your body, than in your mind it is easier to feel empowered and strong enough to set boundaries. That is why being strongly grounded is so important for empaths.

If this is an area you really struggle with check out my Grounding Toolkit that really is for anyone who needs help in getting more centred and grounded.