When you feel over-responsible for the world around you, when you feel over-responsible for the people around you. How do you break free, overcome feelings that you are responsible for the people and situations around you.
So What Is Over-Responsibility?
Over- responsibility is in many ways the burden of excess responsibility. When you over respond to the world around you, feel responsible for other people’s stuff, situations and even world situations around you.
Unhealthy Patterns Of Being Over-Responsible
Patterns of Over-responsibility can be a huge problem for caregiver types, empaths, sensitives and wounded healers. It is a wound that runs deep in it’s distortions, its deep over identification with other people’s pain and wounding.
The Over- Responsible Empath
Over-responsibility is a common shadow trait of so many empaths who struggle with boundaries, over-giving, rescuing and co-dependency challenges.
They are often so energetically entangled in other people’s pain and suffering they find it difficult to identify what is theirs and what is not theirs to carry.
Over-Responsible Leaders
In many work leadership roles, there can be both unhealthy and unrealistic expectations which leads to patterns of over-responsibility. Especially in positions where your role is to ensure certain tasks and goals get completed, certain standards are set an maintained to get the job done.
But at what cost do these roles and patterns have on your mental, emotional and physical health? The weight of over-responsibility can be a huge burden to our health, wellbeing and relationships.
Feeling Over-Responsible In Your Relationships
One of the biggest issues with so many empaths women, especially empathic women and those in caregiving roles. Is the extreme cost to your health and wellbeing, when you constantly feel over responsible for those you love, care for and work with.
When the reality is you are only responsible for ourself and well yes for your kids until they reach a certain age where it is time for them to take self-responsibility and accountability for their actions or inactions.
The Root Causes Of Being Over-Responsible
The main root cause of over responsibility usually lies in childhood. Often in situations where a child was expected to left to take care of siblings, parents or other family members. Or took on extra responsibility for tasks and chores to be accepted, belong, loved.
Over-responsible adults were often as children caregivers of sick parents, addicts or an extra parent or pair of hands in a large families. But it is also highly prevalent in families who put high expectations on their children, teens and even young adults while lacking emotional availability. That is why inner child work is an important part of healing the roots of trauma linked to feelings and beliefs triggering this pattern and behaviour.
My Own Challenges Of Over-Responsibility
At the heart of my own life story, is a road paved with deep patterns of over-responsibility. It began as a sensitive child who felt over deeply, a highly sensitive empath and eldest of 9, who over -identified with other people’s pain and wounding.
Even though I was in a very loving large family, a childhood where we all worked as a team. I took on certain beliefs and patterns including unfounded guilt, that was not mine to carry.
So much so in my early years I became very much the over rescuer, the over giver. the victim and martyr. Nothing sparkly or honourable about it. Especially when you realise that take responsibility for other people’s stuff stops you from learning, healing and growing.
In many ways it is a form of co-dependency that I hadn’t recognised embedded in unhealthy boundaries and self neglect.
Healing Patterns Of Over-Responsibility
Awareness
Like everything awareness is a big part of healing patterns of over-responsibility. Once you recognise other people’s pain, suffering, problems and poor choices are not your responsibility not yours to fix. You start to see the patterns and relationships in your life where you are not allowing someone else to grow and learn from.
Self Compassion
Self compassion is so important when healing any distorted patterns including feelings of responsibility, rescuer and fixer traits. There is often a lot of emotional neglect attached to those who feel responsible. Compassion has to start with yourself.
Self Care
True self care is about taking care of the self, the spiritual self, physical self, mental self, emotional self. Every time you find yourself feeling responsible for other people’s problems, wounds, trauma or bad choices. Ask yourself if you are taking care of you or are you too busy trying to take care of other people to avoid what you really need.
Trusting Others
The reality is we all have to learn how to take care of ourselves. Every time we take on the energy of responsible for someone else’s actions or inactions or situation. In many ways we are not only draining our life force, we are disempowering the other person.
Now that does not mean we cannot support and help others. It is about respecting the other persons choices and personal sovereignty.
Healthy Emotional Boundaries
Learn to master better emotional boundaries. Many types of empaths struggle with emotional and energetic boundaries. But they are vital to remain in your own sovereignty, to protect your energy and to not allow others to feed of your energy.
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