7 Signs You Are Being Gaslighted In Therapy Or Healing
What is gaslighting? And what are some of the most common signs of being gaslighted in therapy, healing or coaching? How to deal with a therapist, healer or even coach that is gaslighting you.
What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is basically a manipulative tactic one person uses to gain control or power over someone else by basically seeding doubt in someone else’s mind of their own reality. By trying to instil confusion over the person’s own memories, beliefs and sanity.
Gaslighting is a form of control and in many ways psychological abuse and although narcissistic gaslighting is a widely recognised behaviour pattern adopted by narcissists.
Most of us experience some form of gaslighting in our life at some time, especially in situations where we are vulnerable and there is an imbalance of power.
That is why sadly gaslighting at work and in the patient-to-doctor and client-to-therapist relationship is so common. It is not always caused by deliberate abuse or even recognised but it is something I see evidence of in a big way every single day.
We can all get caught up in it gaslighting in subtle ways even though it can be extremely damaging even traumatising to the individual’s psyche, self-confidence and self-esteem.
Gaslighted By The Medical And Healing Profession
I spent years being gaslighted by the medical profession and health practitioners, who didn’t believe the medical challenges I was dealing with.
Mainly due to their own lack of awareness, insight and experience.
It taught me valuable lessons about how well the wounded healer within us all can mean well but can also cause harm to the clients we are supposed to help heal and empower.
And made me question so much around the potential harm around so much fast-track training in the therapy, healing and coaching sector. Especially when I met so many people including clients who were gaslighted by the people that they were supposed to protect them.
Psychological abuse that would have me questioning my own sanity, nearly cost me my eye, my life and the loss of tens of thousands of pounds in the wrong types of therapy and healing.
It highlighted how much a little bit of knowledge and the need to be right or in control can be dangerous even in the most well-meaning individual.
And how much our own personal agenda, our own personal bias and beliefs as a therapist can seriously thwart, harm or sabotage another person’s healing process and self-empowerment.
A more recent visit to a chiropractor highlighted the cost of this problem. After revealing extreme trauma and misalignment to my spine, shoulder, head and body (4 inches of misalignment in very key areas of my body) that went in many ways undiagnosed and untreated for so long that it had caused even more complications. Because of such a push by others what I was experiencing was more psychological when it was physiological.
Sadly this is becoming a huge problem in some forms of healing and therapy, where too many healers lacking expertise, knowledge and awareness are gaslighting their clients’ reality into such an unhealthy degree that many clients are questioning their reality or feel too ashamed, guilty to seek they help they really need.
Gaslighting In The Workplace
Gaslighting in the workplace is one of the most psychologically abusive forms of control in the workplace. It can lead to extreme mental and emotional challenges for the victim or victims. It is something that is not always easy to address, especially when a well-seasoned narcissist knows how to play the victim and the environment well..
Gaslighting In Today’s Society
Sadly gaslighting by people in government and power has never been as strong in the West and worldwide as we have seen over the last few years. This alongside horrendous censorship has created a mass amount of manipulation and abuse of power. This can leave the people questioning their reality, in a state of confusion and disempowerment, a place where the abusers want their victims to be so they can control them even further.
7 Common Signs Of Being Gaslighted In Therapy
Signs of gaslighting in therapy, healing, counselling and coaching.
Creates Doubt/Confusion:
The therapist or healer ignites doubt, and confusion or even tries to trivialise or twist your reality about a situation. This is very common when your reality does not fit someone else’s belief system or agenda. Now of course in certain types of therapy, it is the therapist’s job to help you renavigate distorted thinking. But there is a fine line between twisting someone’s reality and helping them create healthier thinking patterns.
Constantly Tears You Down:
They will tear you down, then try to build you back up, tear you down, build you back up in a way that creates energetic chaos and instability. It feels very unsafe and in many ways is extremely ungrounding and even traumatizing.
Ignite Shame And Guilt:
Often an abusive therapist will take advantage by deliberately igniting shame, and guilt in their client as a way to gain power or control over the client in the session. Or even blame them for their mistakes or ignorance, shifting responsibility for their harmful actions or ignorance onto the client.
Actions Don’t Reflect Words:
They will tell you they are here to help you or support you but their actions imply the exact opposite when you are being gaslighted in therapy, counselling or coaching.
Attempt To Control Your Decisions:
Another way gaslighting can show up is when a healer, therapist or coach tries to control your decisions. They will try to exert power, and control over the decisions you make in your life, relationships, health or business. This is also seen in health professionals or therapists who believe they are the answer to all of your problems and encourage co-dependency issues.
Create Co-Dependency Issues:
Gaslighting often has a huge impact on the victim’s self-esteem and self-confidence this and the constant questioning of their reality and sanity leads them to be more vulnerable to mental and emotional instability and co-dependency issues in the client-to-therapist or professional relationship.
Misdiagnose You:
Sadly a very common form of gaslighting in the medical and healing profession today is misdiagnosing someone as crazy or that someone’s symptoms are all in their head rather than in their physical reality. We see this a lot in newer healers, therapists and health professionals who have a little bit of knowledge, think they know it all and as we say don’t know what they don’t know. It often comes from lack of experience, knowledge and lack of awareness.
How To Deal With Being Gaslighted
How to deal with gaslighting in a therapy, healing or coaching session.
Recognise You Are Being Gaslighted:
It is so important to know when you are being gaslighted, awareness is key. When people talk about gaslighting they often just think about gaslighting in an abusive relationship. But gaslighting happens in different facets of life.
There is a very fine line between a therapist or healer who deliberately manipulates, bullies, gaslights or even coerces you to diminish your power and ability to decide what is right for you. Or one who is just naive and unaware but sadly both can be damaging.
Stand In Your Truth:
Stand in your truth, when being gaslighted. Don’t let someone try to manipulate your experiences. Although some types of therapy and healing are there to help us expand or way of thinking, to help us see our reality is a perception and what we have attracted and manifested into our life.
Don’t let any spiritual or wellbeing professional try to doubt or diminish your personal truth, your experiences. because of their inability to handle, deal or listen to your truth. If you are experiencing serious abuse of power don’t be scared to call them out.
Remember They Haven’t Walked In Your Shoes:
Remember that person has not walked or lived in your shoes, they are only seeing a tiny snap shot of your life from their own lens. That lens could be crystal clear or it could be very distorted. We have to be open to our own blind spots and know we all have our own way of seeing the world, which may or not be truth. But therapists can also have a certain bias, it is why therapists of psychology often see their clients mostly through their psychological perceptions, why many inner child therapists tend see their clients challenges through the eyes of mental and emotional trauma from childhood. And why many bodyworkers mostly view their clients challenges through the world of physiological stress, trauma or unhealthy posture.
Listen To Your Own Soul:
The clearer your connection to your heart, soul and god connection, the easier it is to become resilient to other people’s distortions, projections and energetic interferences. This come from not just a good soul connection but good soul power.
The problem is if you are really energetically sensitive and highly empathic, you are also more open to other people’s wounding and trauma in the collective and this is where it can get energetically confusing,
So in the process of your own healing it is so important to choose not just the right therapist or healer but one with the right skillset and tools for your specific needs that will help honour your soul’s path.
Healing From Being Constantly Gaslighted
One of my biggest lessons has been the importance of choosing the right therapist or healer for me. Learning to ask the right questions and look for key signs that someone may or may not have the expertise or level of awareness or consciousness I need or want.
This includes investing in healers and therapists who are not just about getting the certificates but actually do the inner work.
One of the reasons I now personally choose to mostly invest in therapists, healers and wellness practitioners who have been in the field a long time, highly conscious and awake lightworkers who are highly invested in their own healing journey and spiritual growth. Awake enough to know what is going on in the world.
None of us are perfect, we are all learning, growing and expanding in consciousness and awareness and it is important you choose a therapist or healer that aligns with you.
The last thing you need in the process of trying to heal from gaslighting trauma from a therapist is to face further gaslighting from another healer or therapist or work with a therapist or healer who is not self-aware enough to support you in the best way.
End Any Therapist Agreement That Isn’t Working
Don’t be shy or scared about ending any agreement with a healer or therapist where you feel it is just not working. I know personally I have spent thousands of pounds on healing and therapy that wasn’t the right fit. At times I went to healers and therapists for years just because I felt coerced or obliged.
Avoid working with any therapist or healer who tries to manipulate you into working with them or believes you should be going to them because you know them. This is extremely unprofessional and unethical and in many cases, it can be better to go to someone you don’t know on a personal level.
Self Compassion And Self-Forgiveness
Be kind and compassionate towards yourself, therapy and healing is a process, we all have wounds and challenges that we need help and support with at times for so many reasons. When we are vulnerable and seeking help or answers we don’t always make the wisest choices.
Bring in self-compassion and self-forgiveness and of course forgiveness for the other who is only functioning from their level of consciousness or awareness at that point.
And remember like all forms of healing, take one day at a time, be open to miracles but be patient with yourself when that healing takes a little longer than you hoped or planned.
How To Nurture Your Inner Child, Comfort and Soothe Our Inner Child in a deeply healing and supportive way.
What is Your Inner Child?
Your inner child is part of you, part of your psyche that has been present from the time you have been conceived.
Our inner child forms different archetypal traits to adapt and survive our environment and family system.
It is where most of us form healthy and unhealthy archetypal traits, personality traits that shape our beliefs and behavioural patterns in adulthood.
The reason why we all have a wounded inner child that needs healing and healthy parenting.
No matter how healthy, caring, and nurturing our childhood was, we all have inner child wounds, we all have happy, self-sabotaging, and destructive patterns that impact our lives.
Nurturing Your Inner Child
Nurturing your inner child is an important part of helping to comfort, reassure, and soothe your inner child to become a more happy healthy adult.
But like everything in life, there is a healthy way to nurture and approach your inner child and a not-so-healthy way.
It is that fine balance of being able to listen and acknowledge the inner child while equally parenting the inner child in a nurturing way.
Like every child, your inner child can want and crave all sorts of unhealthy patterns in an attempt to self-soothe its trauma, neglect, abuse, and loss.
This is why it is so important to approach healing your inner child and nurturing your inner child in a healthy balanced and informed way.
10 Ways To Nurture Your Inner Child
Connect With Your Inner Child –
You cannot truly and effectively nurture your child within until you can make a healthy and deep soul connection with your inner child. This is a step that shouldn’t be rushed and it requires you to set times in your day, and week where you make that conscious connection.
Many children of certain generations were seen but not heard. And in many ways not seen.
The ability to listen to what our child archetypes and inner child are trying to tell us is of vital importance. If we don’t listen closely enough we can miss very important information, that is why listening to your inner child is so important and one of the most fundamental basics of inner child therapy.
Being Fully Present With Your Inner Child –
The ability to be fully present requires the ability to be still, be quiet, and be fully in the moment is so important. If you struggle to be still, struggle to connect within or to your soul’s essence. You are going to struggle to connect with the heart of your child’s archetypes that need your attention. That is why the right meditation techniques and soul connection skills can be extremely helpful.
Honour Your Inner Child –
it is so important for us all to respect, value, and honour our inner child and all our archetypal traits in a balanced and healthy way. Just like honouring, respecting, and valuing a child we love, we have to honour that child in a way without reinforcing unhealthy child wound patterns.
This is why honouring and valuing the child archetypes within us also involves parenting our inner child to recognise unhealthy stuck patterns. For example, the shadow traits of the eternal child who doesn’t want to grow up and chooses toto avoid growing up and taking self-responsibility. The victim child who chooses to be a victim of their circumstances, who doesn’t value, honour, or respect themself enough to create change.
Soothe Your Inner Child –
Healthy self-soothing is an important aspect of nurturing our inner child, the key is healthy soothing. Unhealthy patterns of self-soothing is eating a full tub of ice cream or any other form of unhealthy comfort eating or relying on drugs or prescription medication to self-soothe.
Instead self soothe using relaxation techniques, havening, a relaxing bath, calming and grounding essential oils anything that will help calm down the nervous system in a healthy balanced way.
Play With Your Inner Child –
As adults we forget to have fun, we forget to make some playtime in our day, in our week, our life. It is so important to have fun, and laughter, and to take time out. The entertainer, jester archetype can help remind us of these qualities.
Get Creative With Your Inner Child –
Creativity can be a powerful therapeutic tool in inner child work, the right type of creativity that feels aligned with your soul can be very soothing and nurturing. Tapping into the artist, creator archetype or creative child archetype or magical child archetype can help inspire that creativity.
Exploring different creative hobbies can be extremely healing and can help reignite more passion and creativity in our lives.
Send A Letter To And From Our Inner Child –
Sending a deeply caring and loving letter to and from our inner child can be extremely healing and cathartic. Sending a letter to your inner child to tell your child that you love and care for them can help open deeper doors to self-healing. Sending a letter from the wounded child to the adult you stating what you really need right now can really help you identify what your wounded child needs and wants at a deeper soul level.
Parent The Inner Child –
Parenting our inner child is a vital part of the healing process, if we cannot parent our inner child we cannot help the child grow up in a healthy and balanced way. A healthy parent helps teach our inner child healthy patterns that help us become healthy happy grown up.
Unhealthy parenting teaches unconsciously unhealthy patterns, self-sabotaging, and destructive patterns in our lives. So part of parenting your inner child is teaching your inner child a new way of being
Healing Our Inner Child –
The right Inner Child Healing can be extremely powerful at helping you make massive shifts in your life, your relationships, your business, and your career.
So it is important to choose the right type of inner child therapist, inner child healer, or inner child work that will best suit your inner child’s needs. Choose an inner child therapist that understands trauma, self-sabotaging patterns, and your most dominant archetypal traits that are running or ruining your life.
I have personally met and worked with so many clients through the years that have felt more damaged or traumatised by therapists or healers that don’t know what they are doing.
Listening to what our inner child needs is crucial. And don’t be shy about asking the therapist about their qualifications, level, and area of expertise in inner child work; years of experience, and how many clients they have worked with. It is important our inner child feels safe and is safe with a therapist, counsellor, coach, or healer.
If you are ready to help soothe, nurture, and heal your inner child into that happy healthy child and adult you deserve and are meant to be check out my new Lightworkers portal, where you can access a variety of inner child meditations, inner child courses, and spiritual self-development tools and techniques and so much more.
Sample some of my Free Inner Child And Archetypal Resources in the Lightworkers Library.
What is Soul Alignment and why is it so important in helping you get into alignment in your life, aligned with your life purpose and soul purpose?
What Is Soul Alignment?
To me, Soul Alignment is being so deeply connected and aligned with who you truly are at a soul level, that you live your life in complete alignment with who you truly are.
You live in alignment with your life and soul purpose, you have a deep intimate connection with what your soul, god, and the universe are guiding you to do.
What Happens When We Are Out Of Alignment?
The problem is when we are out of alignment with our soul, is that misalignment can attract all sorts of other issues and problems that take us even more out of alignment, let me explain it this way.
Recently I have been receiving chiropractor treatment for a very complex list of physical challenges caused by serious misalignment in my caused by medical harm and trauma.
Even though I have invested a LOT of money trying to solve these issues, one of the biggest problems was most therapists were treating the symptoms rather than the core structural causes.
There was so much going on that my body’s new normal from a structural perspective was like the leaning tower. of Pisa. And every time a therapist tried to re-align one area of my body, it was literally like a domino effect of other serious issues.
Like everything in life, if we don’t solve the core issues, and get to the foundational issue that is causing the misalignment in our life, we are basically trying to fix the symptoms than the problem.
Soul alignment is exactly the same, when we are out of alignment with our soul we end up with all sorts of complex issues in our lives, our health, our purpose, and in our spiritual business.
7 Signs Of Good Soul Alignment
You have a strong sense of spiritual guidance that comes from within.
Highly intuitive and spiritually open to the world within and around you.
At peace with yourself, you don’t worry about what others think about you, so are more authentic.
You attract all sorts of opportunities and synchronicities to help you co-create.
Make most decisions at a heart and soul level, than mind/ego level so more in the flow.
Don’t have an unhealthy over-attachment to the 3d world and material things.
Soul Alignment Method
I have my own soul aligning process that I teach my clients and students, which at a foundation level starts with building up good soul connection. Without a healthy soul connection, you don’t know what you are energetically and psychically connecting to, you don’t know what or who to listen to.
One of the reasons so many people lack good intuition and even spiritual discernment, we just need to look at how many people were so disconnected from their discernment and intuition over the last few years.
And why spiritual discernment and intuition dramatically improves when we are more soul aligned than confused or hijacked by energetic distortions and interferences not from the light or your soul. One of the reasons soul alignment can be very helpful.
Soul Alignment Quotes
“Only when we are in alignment with our soul purpose do we find true joy and inner peace.” ― Anthon St. Maarten
The things that bring you the greatest joy are in alignment with your purpose. ― Jack Canfield
“Your Soul is a perfect fragment of Source. Your purpose lives within the blueprint of your Soul, which, like a sunflower in full bloom, contains many seeds of golden light. Anything purposeful, creative, imaginative, truthful, aligned, and unique you do begins with a spark from your Soul’s own light.” ― Kris Franken
Ready To Build A Deeper Soul Connection Become More Spiritually Aligned with Your Heart and Soul check out the Gold or Quantum level of the Lightworkers Portal to get access to my Soul Connection Course and so much more.
Inspiration Lightworker Quotes and inspirational quotes for healers. Quotes that help and Inspire, Love, Light And Strength for Empaths, Healers, Lightworkers, Healers and Light Warriors on the spiritual path, the journey of awakening and ascension.
22 Inspiring Lightworker Quotes
Inspiring Quotes For Lightworkers, Empaths, Earthseeds and Starseeds
“When we shift our energy from fear to love, we find our way” ― Panache Desai
“In a seemingly dark and troubled world, there are hundreds and thousands of lightworkers, standing strong, refusing to dim their lights. Look for the light workers they are all around you. Follow them back to the light.”― Renae A. Sauter
“Sometimes the universe turns off all the lights so we have no choice but to find our own.” ― Rebecca Campbell
“There are two ways of spreading light; to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.”— Edith Wharton
“Light must come from inside. You cannot ask the darkness to leave; you must turn on the light.”— Sogyal Rinpoche
“A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows.”― St. Francis of Assisi
Lightworker Quotes by Ram Dass and Rumi
Famous inspiring quotes by Ram Dass
“The Quieter You Become The More You Can Hear” — Ram Dass
“The shadow is the greatest teacher for how to come to the light.”— Ram Dass
“For every sensitive soul, time alone is not a luxury; it is a matter of survival.” ― Sylvia Salow
“Struggles Of An Empath and Lightworker” Empaths and Lightworkers did not arrive on this planet to lead a cheerful carnival parade into a perfect New Earth paradise. There is much work to be done before anyone will ever enter that promised land.” ― Anthon St. Maarten
Light Warrior and Spiritual Warrior Quotes
Quotes that inspire light, spiritual courage, wisdom and peace.
“Spiritual warriors are truth speakers and light keepers, not fearmongers or cheerleaders.”― Anthon St. Maarten
“An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.”― Mahatma Gandhi
Many people think excitement is happiness…. But when you are excited you are not peaceful. True happiness is based on peace.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh
“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
