How to stop giving your power away especially when you are highly empathic or highly sensitive? Why do empaths struggle to maintain personal power and sovereignty?
Why do empaths find themself so enmeshed in other people’s needs, other people’s pain, and emotional needs? We constantly feed them instead of ourselves, we become the victim.
Stop Giving Your Power Away To Your Loved One’s
It is so easy to hand over our power to your loved ones, your partner, your family, your friends, and even colleagues without realising it. We do this by allowing others to control, manipulate, or push us into choices that are not ours and even worse not in our best interest. These situations will often exhaust us, deplete us, diminish, and even devalue our sense of self, self-worth, and self-esteem.
So many of us give our power away to our fears, distorted beliefs our addictions. We constantly disempower, dis-honour, and disrespect ourselves daily.
Why? Because we have a very distorted perception of ourselves and the world around us. So we end up creating life-long unhealthy patterns that sabotage our health and happiness on a daily basis. Ironically one of the biggest forms of dis-empowerment is the way we give control over our health to other people.
Are You Giving Your Power Away To Your Doctor Or Therapist?
We often assume that those who help support us with our health and well-being, even our spirituality have our best interests at heart. But every time you hand over decisions of your body, mind, emotions, and or spirit to another person without checking in if this feels right for you, you may well be opening yourself up to an element of disempowerment.
Look at the culture in the West of how much we expect our Dr to heal, fix, or treat health conditions or symptoms caused by unhealthy lifestyle choices. Another example of giving your power away and not taking responsibility for our own well-being. We live in a world wherein many ways we are conditioned to give our power and decision-making away to someone else, which is not only disempowering but potentially damaging on so many levels.
Are You Giving Your Power Away To Psychics, Mediums, Or Horoscope Predictions?
Or too much power over to a Coach, Healer, or Spiritual Teacher?
Stop, take time to get centered, and be aware of where you are handling your power or leaking energy.
As healers, we are here to help, sometimes guide or teach you. But you should never give your power away or over to us. We are here to help empower you, we are here to help hold a space of healing, even challenge, question, and yes sometimes trigger you. In fact in some ways, we are not here to be liked even though we are here to do right by you.
But sadly there can be a misuse of power and harmful practice in coaching, healing, and spiritual teaching. Harmful practice in the holistic therapy industry nearly cost me my eye and another cost me serious liver toxicity. I was young, naive, vulnerable, and trusted the wrong therapists.
“Stop giving your life away to other people.”― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
Know You Are Enough
Unfortunately today we live in a society where are at our core we feel we are not enough. This feeling of lack of not enough triggers a deep need in many people to have more, be more to such an extent they will do almost anything to get more.
This lack will even try to destroy or disempower others in their struggle to appear more special, more spiritual, more awakened, and more successful.
Look at the generation we are living in, one where you can buy anything at the press of a button. One of the most concerning is the ability to get a certificate or diploma in something in over a few days to a few weeks in something that would previously take a year or two.
Every day individuals are naively giving their power and lots of hard-earned cash away to anyone or anyone who promises them something faster, easier; instant transformation, instant success.
So it is important than ever to become more mindful of your daily interactions.
It is so important to start listening to your inner guidance your intuition, and your spiritual connection.
Is That Situation Or Person Enabling You Or Disabling You?
We are all human and we are all evolving but it is important to recognise when we are not being supported or empowered and when we are being disempowered or controlled.
I have been a highly sensitive empath for as long as I can remember. I only began to take a lot of my power back after a spiritual experience in intensive care where I was fighting for my life. And a few years later where I saw a visual energetic imprint of all these people’s opinions about the cause of my rare medical challenges. In many ways, it was so enlightening as I could see over 45 years’ worth of different medical professionals’ opinions, different healers, therapists, even family members, and friends’ opinions. Many different people’s beliefs that I had taken into my energetic field.
Like so many people, so many empaths I didn’t realise how much of my power I was giving away. How much unconsciously I was allowing other people’s views and energy into my unconscious and energetic field. As an unruly empath and chronic people pleaser I gave my power away daily.
When you are more earthed, stable, and in your own body and energetic field. You are less likely to be dominated or manipulated by others’ energy or opinions. This is extremely important for empaths and sensitives who struggle with energetic boundaries.
Make meditation an important daily practice. Meditation helps you connect with your inner wisdom and recognise what is right for you.
Stop making assumptions
tStop making assumptions that other people always know better than you, always have your interests at heart. Just because they appear to be more, knowledgeable, wise, or experienced doesn’t automatically mean they do. Learn the art of discernment. In many ways, people give their power away to others regularly because of poor discernment.
Take responsibility for your actions and inactions.
Don’t expect others to fix, heal, sort, or solve your problems. Of course, we all need help, support, other people’s skills and knowledge. But it’s important to take ownership of areas in our lives we need to change. Do not expect others to do this for you.
Do not be scared to ask
Specific questions if you are unsure about a situation. For example, ask a Dr or therapist why they suggest or think this is the best form of therapy. Do not be shy about finding out more about someone’s level of expertise, or testimonials of any claims made.
Be clear in your communication,
about what you need, what you believe, and how you feel.
Don’t let someone rush you into a decision you are unsure about.
It is okay to say I am unsure about this, I need time to think about it.
Set and maintain healthy boundaries as part of your daily routine and your mindset. Especially when you are highly empathic or sensitive, more anxious, stressed, or vulnerable.
Be mindful of unhealthy traits, and unhealthy thinking patterns.
Where in your life are you an over pleaser, over giver, have unfound guilt, the wounded healer…?
Do some inner child work to heal those old distorted beliefs and core wounds that entrap you into the people pleaser, the over giver, the nurturer? Heal and teach the child who never learned about boundaries, who never learned to self-care.
As Marianne Williamson states in A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles” –
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”
Why Do Empaths Struggle With Self-Love And Self-Care?
Why do so many empaths struggle with overwhelm, exhaustion, and burnout?
Have so many issues around boundaries and feeling so much.
The Empaths Struggle
So many empaths struggle to say NO, many find it difficult to create and maintain healthy energetic boundaries which can lead to all sorts of life, health, work, and business challenges. Especially issues around self-care, self-love, and self-compassion.
Their high level of empathy, and ability to sense other people’s physical, mental, emotional even spiritual often leads to strong tendencies towards over-caring, over-giving, and putting others’ needs before their own.
So much so that they are more likely to suffer from exhaustion, stress, compassion fatigue, and burnout. Especially when so many of you have strong archetypal traits of the martyr, fixer, healer, nurturer, and rescuer.
Why Do Many Empaths Struggle With Over Giving?
Empaths struggle with over-giving and caring because most empaths are in some way energetically aware and often immersed in the energy, pain, and drama of the people and things around them.
An empath will often find it difficult to differentiate their own needs, their energy field from the energy field, and the emotions of others.
Common Empathic Traits
An empath will be very aware of other people’s emotions and needs they will often absorb another person’s feelings and or pain.
Empaths often need lots of time out, empaths are so sensitive to the energy and people around them they need lots of time out.
Empaths are often highly sensitive so are more sensitive to energy; not just people but their surroundings, places, items, the world, and animals…
The empathic child will often bring these gifts through very clearly but if those around don’t understand and support the child’s gifts, the child will often feel confused, ashamed, and fearful which often leads to an emotional and or energetic shut-down.
Empaths can be very misunderstood like the HSP they can be categorised as too weak, too sensitive, strange, or weird because of their heightened awareness and experiences that most people have no comprehension of.
Empaths very easily lose their identity in relationships so can often avoid close or intimate relationships to protect themselves. They can find it extremely challenging to deal with controlling relationships, parents, and work colleagues.
A lot of empaths are introverted but for those with more extroverted tendencies, it is often important for them to spend time alone or resting.
Many empaths end up with burnout or other types of chronic health challenges due to poor management of their gifts.
Especially lack of boundaries, and over-attachment to being the carer, supporter, helper, healer, and nurturer. Most wounded healers are empaths.
Many empaths don’t just feel and absorb people’s emotional pain but also feel their physical pain.
How To Heal The Empaths Struggle
Get More Soul-Aligned and Soul Connected
One of the most powerful things anyone can do to become more soul-empowered and spiritually boundaries is to get more soul-connected and soul-aligned. We are more spiritually guided and aligned with our soul’s essence and our soul’s calling than energetically interfered with other people’s wounding and distortions.
Start to take one step, one moment at a time, and be less in the future, the past, or in the what-ifs. Don’t let the monkey mind run or ruin your world.
Start meditating daily. Meditation helps you not only be in the moment, and be more grounded and centered but it increases self-awareness. It will help you become more of a witness when you are giving your energy or power away to others. Sign up for my Free 5 Minute Meditation.
Inner child work is a powerful way to heal incidents in your life’s timeline where you took on unhealthy thought patterns, trauma, and suppressed emotions that are causing blockages in your health and well-being.
Are you ready to turn your empathic gifts into your biggest strength?
Are you ready to nurture your spiritual and intuitive gifts?
One of the biggest challenges many empaths have is they get burned out and overwhelmed. They can often feel energetically that everyone wants a piece of them. And as Dr. Elaine Aaron and Dr. Northrup suggest there are a lot more people who think they are empaths than they are. You may have empathic traits but that doesn’t mean you are an empath. So many people struggle to understand the unique challenges empaths face.
Especially if you are the type of empath who automatically wants to help fix, heal, nurture, care, or support anyone who you think needs it. Because unconsciously you absorb their pain while they feed off and deplete your energy. This can be an unhealthy cycle many empaths struggle to break. Because consciously never mind unconsciously empaths are so used to being of service.
They are so compassionate being in tune with other people’s pain, so used to absorbing all sorts of energy around them. That saying no and having boundaries can feel as if it goes against your soul essence.
The Empaths Need To Learn How To Say NO
As an empath and/or sensitive you have to be able to say no, you need to learn how to have strong boundaries. You have to be energetically aware when others are trying to push their agenda and needs onto you. At a cost to you. You are the only person who knows what you can give to others healthily and what you can’t, something I still work on. And yes for most empaths boundaries is not something that comes easily.
Why Empaths Attract The Needy, The Narcissists, and Energetic Vampires
So many empaths attract the needy, the narcissists, and the energy vampires. If we are not fully in our body or mindful don’t it can be harder to detect when we are being sucked dry energetically by another person until after the event.
So many of us have spent most of our life enmeshed in other people’s drama, energy, and pain that we genuinely don’t recognise our own needs or feelings in the situation.
Energetic Boundaries And Self Awareness
So energetic and boundary awareness is something we seriously need to work on. Anyone who struggles with energetic boundaries can also be more easily swayed by other people’s ideas, and thoughts because of the dis-entanglement of energetic thought patterns.
If you were discouraged from standing up for your own needs as a child or were silenced in some way. Lack of assertiveness and boundaries has to be addressed alongside a deep recognition that your needs are as important as others.
Inner Child Healing And Therapy
Inner Child work can help with this challenge because these beliefs and conditioning were formed in childhood.
As a highly sensitive caring empath for as long as I can remember. I attracted many people and situations in my personal and business life that didn’t serve me. Why? Because I am a natural overgiver, someone who for most of my life has been an energetic sponge.
When Everyone Wants A Piece Of You At Work
On one hand, it can extremely positive when you have skills and gifts people feel they want or need. But only when your gifts are being equally valued. When you are receiving the right exchange and energy efficiently in a healthy and balanced way.
But so many empaths in businesses not only undervalue their worth but are so motivated by service to others. Their business can easily become more of a charity rather than a business. Often letting their empathic nature get in the way of vital business decisions. Empaths in business often attract freebie seekers, energy exchangers, and even manipulators.
When You Attract Mostly The Freebie Seekers
For years I attracted as a highly empathic nurturer and caregiver I attracted so many of the wrong clients and the wrong audience. Despite always giving many freebies in my business. I would receive so many emails and Facebook messages from those looking for favors, discounts, or freebies.
As someone who lived on their own, self-employed with a lot of disabilities and health challenges that impacted my daily life and work great. I had to learn to set healthier boundaries and stop giving into clients and students that were often not being completely honest with themself or me.
Most importantly I need to remind myself daily that I need to be served in life to serve others.
When everyone wants a piece of you for free, in-fact expects a piece of you for free, that is something that has to be addressed.
The Problem With People Pleasing Empath
If you have been a people pleaser most of your life, as an empath it can be harder to say NO than the person asking will ever realise. As you are so energetically aware of that person’s emotional pain and vulnerabilities.
Now I run quite a few free Facebook groups for many years but I closed many of them down because of some of the crazy expectations and sense of entitlement.
So many personal messages from people who assumed I should give my time, energy, wisdom, and even courses for free. Despite already offering a plethora of resources; free blogs, podcasts, videos, self-study, and live training. Even more surprising was the amount of manipulation from a group of empaths and highly sensitive people.
Empaths Tips – What You Can Do To Take Your Power Back
Develop Self Awareness
when we develop more awareness of the self and our energy we can become more detached from the drama and projections of others. We are less likely to be triggered by our empathic vulnerabilities. One of the easiest ways to do that is to learn effective meditation techniques. Check out my 5 Minute Meditation a powerful meditation tool
Know Your Needs Are Your Priority
it is vital you work on recognising you are just as important as those around you. You need to be able to take care of your needs before you help anyone else. Lemon oil can help us get more clarity and focus.
Step Back Energetically
consciously step away from their energy and get grounded. If you have to imagine you are removing that person from your energy field or unhooking them, do so. Most people have no awareness they are hooking in on or taking from someone energetically. They are just like everyone else on the planet unconsciously trying to get a need filled. Learn to protect your energy with the right energy clearing and energy protection tools.
Take Time Out
take plenty of time to unplug from everything, especially others’ energy fields. So you energetically get back into your own body. Even moving yourself to another room or outside, space from the situation for a few minutes can help.
Don’t Overthink It
don’t allow the ruminating mind to take over. Oh, I should be helping them…it’s a shame…
Disentangle From Others’ Victimhood And Manipulation
Don’t allow someone else’s victimhood or manipulation to hook you into their mess. This is simply a subtle form of control, that people use to get what they want out of a situation.
allow your inner guidance to make the right decisions again don’t let others sway your decisions. As a very highly sensitive empath and intuitive who has worked with energy for over 30 years. I often have a deep sense of knowing or feeling others’ energetic motives which others are unaware of. When I allow others views to cloud my guidance it usually doesn’t serve me.
Heal the childhood experiences that have made you believe you have to fix, nurture, care, support, and heal others. Heal the inner child that struggles or doesn’t know how to set energetic boundaries.
Why Every HSP Highly Sensitive Person Should Learn How To Meditate. Why meditation helps the Highly Sensitive Person or Empath become more mentally and emotionally resilient in their life and business.
Daily Challenges Of The HSP Highly Sensitive Person
I believe everyone should learn how to meditate but if you are an empath or HSP I believe meditation is a must. Why? Because if you are an HSP you are more sensitive to the energy and stress of modern-day living. The HSP has a highly sensitive sensory system, basically a more finely tuned nervous system than most people. This gives the HSP a lot more awareness and receptivity to the world around them. But this also makes HSP’s less resilient in some ways more easily overstimulated.
Reasons Why The HSP Highly Sensitive People Should Meditate
The highly sensitive person is often more easily wounded. The HSP Empath is often more scattered in their energy. In many ways, they are often not fully in their energetic body. That is why many highly sensitive empaths are often ungrounded and uncentred. Why so many highly sensitive’s and empaths struggle mentally, physically, and or emotionally in their day-to-day life.
Highly Sensitive Empaths are like energy sponges. So they need to need to learn how to become more centered, grounded, and energetically aware. Meditation naturally helps increase awareness and presence. Meditation can also help us become more grounded and centered.
Why Every HSP Should Meditate Daily
Daily Meditation is so good for your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing
Regular meditative practice is known to lower anxiety and stress levels.
It helps you access a deep space of stillness and peace, so meditation often increases clarity and confidence
We know meditation helps you access much clearer intuition and inner guidance.
Meditation allows you to heal mentally, physically, and emotionally
My Own Meditation Journey As A HSP And Empath
I began meditating over 30 years ago, I tried, tested, and studied various styles and teachings of meditation. As someone with very rare medical challenges that mainstream medicine couldn’t treat, I had to find skills that would make me more physically, mentally, and emotionally resilient. Oh, how I thank god that I found meditation. This was a skill that helped me become so mentally resilient. Meditation helped me deal with so many tremendous and long-term challenges with strength and peace.
One of my earliest teachings of meditation was to a class of rather troublesome young men. I knew teaching meditation to a class of rather rowdy you men might not be a walk in the park. So I went searching for a style of meditation that might accommodate their particular needs. I found a technique that I adapted in which became My 5 Minute Meditation. In-fact this became the most popular meditation tool I ever taught. Loved by not just teenagers, but stressed-out executives, carers, healers, highly sensitive people, and empaths.
Finding The Right Type Of Meditation To Start With
When you find the right type of meditation tool for you, you will build your meditation practice up much stronger. If you have a very busy, demanding lifestyle the 5 Minute Meditation is a great starter tool. But I would still encourage you to practice a more traditional style of meditation into your routine. This form of meditation will help you transcend into living more of your life from a place of meditation.
The problem today is there is a lot of myths and misunderstanding around meditation. Many people give up too quickly on their meditation practice because of a misunderstanding of what meditating actually is.
Beginners Meditation Technique For The Anxious HSP
If you are an HSP who struggles with chronic anxiety and stress I would encourage you to try out a very short style of meditation like my less than 5 Minute Meditation which is great for beginners. This particular technique is really useful for chronic anxiety and even trauma sufferers, so it’s much more gentle than other forms of meditation.
The Right Type Of Meditation Teacher If You Are Highly Sensitive
My advice would be to choose a meditation teacher wisely, find out more about them, years of experience, training, and styles of meditation they teach. If you’re an Empath or HSP you may want to book a one-to-one session with a meditation teacher before attending a class or start with some simple meditation at home. Also, check-in that the meditation teacher actually teaches you how to meditate they are not just practicing or guiding you through guided meditations more like guided visualisations, this is often something very different.
Why Meditation Supports The HSP
Anxiety and emotional wounding is a big problem for the HSP, Meditation helps loosen those challenges as it helps us detach from that wounding. When we meditate we connect with the self, an aspect of us that never changes. This helps nurture a healthy anchor, a stronger connection with where magic and stillness transcends everything else.
Why healing the inner child wounds can empower us and transform us.
Healing the inner child can be a very powerful way to address all sorts of forms of dis-ease, unhealthy beliefs, and conditioning that keeps us small, keeps us in sabotaging life patterns. How we experience and see the world as a child often shapes how we show up as an adult. And this is no different for the highly empathic or sensitive child who can find the modern world a harsh place. Empaths and HSP’s struggle to thrive in life because they have struggled to find healthy ways to survive and create healthy boundaries in their childhood.
No matter how healthy or unhealthy or childhood was we all can benefit from healing the inner child wounds that show up in our adult life. That form of archetypal and personality traits, that specifically keep us stick in the survival archetypal traits.
Healing The Inner Child If Your An Empath Or Highly Sensitive Person
So many HSP’s and empaths struggle because of their level of sensitivity and heightened awareness.
Highly sensitive people are generally more sensitive to their own wounding and surroundings. The highly sensitive empath takes that a bit further and they will sense the energy and emotional pain of others and in places . Some of us also take on the energetic imprints or physical pain of others, when we haven’t learned healthy boundaries and how to harness our spiritual and sensitive gifts.
Many sensitives and empaths are the Spiritual Seers, the Spiritual Forecasters, Psychic, Mediums, Starseeds, Earthseeds and Wayshowers. Which comes with it’s own difficulties and challenges.
Every HSP and Empath is unique but like everyone in life, they will also have their own unique gifts, own unique personal challenges and trauma healing the inner child can help us tap into those spiritual gifts we have shut down, learn how to harness or sensitive gifts in a powerful way.
Inner Child Healing – The Highly Sensitive Child
The highly sensitive child/person has such heightened awareness than those around them that they can see, hear, feel, and interpret things to a greater degree than most people couldn’t imagine. The HSP child will often be viewed as too sensitive, too weak, too childlike, irrational, naive …
These natural gifts and traits often trigger fear and misunderstanding in the parents, siblings, and caregivers around them which is projected onto the child. They are often taught that who they are at a core level is flawed, bad, wrong, not enough. Told to toughen up, be brave, be bold, shut down their emotions, act differently; basically not be their sacred self.
Many highly sensitive children are highly empathic, intuitive and even psychic. This again can trigger tremendous fear in those around them which the child senses. So much so the child will shut down their natural traits, their natural state of being. That is why inner child work is highly recommended for empaths and the highly sensitive person.
Soul Empowerment From Healing The Inner Child
So many highly sensitive people including highly sensitive children often don’t know where they fit in. This can create a great degree of inner conflict especially when we are living in a very noisy, materialistic society. A culture that is often embedded with self-preservation and self-success than any on compassion and deep humanity for others around us.
Inner Child work can be extremely healing for the HSP who struggles to honour themself and their sensitivity. It is spiritually empowering for the empath or HSP who can’t say no and struggles with boundaries. For those who too easily take on other people’s drama or pain.
In my one to one sessions and inner child programs for sensitives and empaths. I address different aspects of the inner child. Working on the wounded child, abandoned child, the eternal child and the more positive aspects of the inner child. It is extremely healing and empowering to address underlying triggers where you felt traumatised, abandoned or disempowered. Those experiences where we have shut down mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
Unlock Your Gifts From Healing The Inner Child
Clients and therapists experience many benefits and insights from inner child work. Even simply listening to inner child healing guided meditations that have been created by someone qualified to do. Because so many HSP’s haven’t learned to own and harness their sensitive gifts in a positive way. You may not recognise that some of your physical symptoms are just signs your gifts are trying to show up. Or maybe you need to start owning your power, your sovereignty.
Maybe you need to say NO? Stop allowing others to take advantage, control, or impose their beliefs or wants onto you. Maybe you need to put yourself first? So many Empaths and HSP’s are over givers, the wounded healer, victim, martyr, or rescuer.
Why Highly Sensitive Coaches Struggle Financially In Their Business
One of the biggest challenges many highly sensitive coaches, therapists and healers have is they have all sorts of struggles with financial abundance. They can have all sorts of challenges in their business and their life because of this. I know and understand this very being a self-employed highly sensitive empath, coach and healer for over 23 years who has supported many lightworkers, empaths and highly sensitive coaches with their business.
Main Motivations Of Highly Sensitive Coaches
The highly sensitive person or empaths driving motivation can appear in many ways to be related to the top of maslows hierachy needs instead of the bottom. The highly sensitive coach is often not driven by the same money goals that most other coaches are. Their client, work and financial relationship is often far more complex.
What I witnessed as both a coach/trainer and client to many coaches and therapists. In-fact even as a client to many coaches and healers over a 25 year period. Was that many of the most gifted and qualified coaches/ therapists were highly empathic and HSP. They were also are the most likley to under charge in comparison to some of the most awful coaches and healers who charged premium prices.
So let’s look more deeply at why the HSP Coach tends to struggle with financial abundance
Success Struggles Of Highly Sensitive Coaches
Highly Sensitive Coaches are motivated by self-actualization in many ways this takes dominance. They are very much more focused on the spiritual self.
Highly Empathic Coaches can be so aware or entangled up with other’s pain they just want to be of service, they forget they are actually running a business.
The Highly Sensitive And Empathic Coach is often more dominated by their altruistic traits so not driven by money or financial success.
The Highly Sensitive Coach often resists the business, marketing and technical aspect of their business. Many Empathic or Highly Sensitive Coaches fear the business and marketing part of the business. This can cause them great distress and anxiety.
How To Start Healing Your Money And Abundance Struggles
Traditional based Meditation Techniques and grounding strategies including spending time in nature help support and heal the root chakra. It is important you address root level challenges, conditioning, and beliefs that need to be addressed.
Be More Open To Receiving
Often life’s over givers, carers, healers, therapists and empathic coaches come from such a place of lack of over-giving, they have forgotten how to receive. Don’t get caught up in how the universe gives/provides, trust, and be open to receiving the help and support in whatever shape it comes. Focus on gratitude daily this will increase your vibration.
Heal Your Wounds
If you are highly empathic or highly sensitive and affected deeply by other people’s energy. Heal your own wounds, heal your own issues by healing your inner child and our shadow archetypal traits. Being aware of other’s pain and taking others’ pain are two very different things. Many coaches and healers can go into this type of work because of their own life challenges which are still being healed. This can take time but it is vital you address them.
Own your uniqueness, your spark of wonder, your specific gifts you are here to share with your clients. So many highly sensitive coaches doubt their own abilities, stop focusing on what everyone else is offering or charging, do your own thing. Stop giving your energy and power away.
Face Your Fears
Face and address your own sabotaging fears or sabotaging patterns of behaviour. There is no point focusing on a law of attraction mindset if you are trying to suppress or deny what needs to be addressed. What we resist persists, what we suppress will eventually come to the surface.
Own Your Coaching Business
Start owning you are a business service, address any issues you have around this. So many of the highly sensitive coaches and therapists that I work with have struggled for years because of a variety of views. A common belief is that lightworkers shouldn’t need to advertise. Many common in to business believing that if they are doing such great work that their ideal audience will find them. They don’t have a proper marketing plan or strategy or have an advertisement budget to grow their business. Too many don’t survive.
Get Connected
When you get connected with spirit, god, and your essence. You live each day with a bigger sense of confidence, calm, and trust. You get out of your fearful sabotaging head and into a state of being. And how can you do that, well with the right type of meditation. The type of meditation or technique that helps you access that sense of presence, stillness, and inner wisdom at almost the switch of a button. When we can bring in a state of peace, stillness, and connectedness to our moment to moment life. Our fearful sabotaging mind starts to fall away.*
Do you have the ability to trust and surrender, to let go and let god?
The ability to let go of the need to control to every aspect of your life, especially difficult situations?
Or do you find yourself exhausted and overwhelmed with the constant need to control or fix everything?
Why True Empowerment Involves An Element Of Letting Go
You know one of the things I learned along my journey is own spiritual that to become truly empowered we need to let go and let god. It took me a long time to realise this and like most of us, I have to be reminded especially in extremely difficult situations we may feel powerless. The ego fools us into believing that we must do this, or need to do that as if we are supposed to control everything. As if the world, the universe is this terrible place that doesn’t provide, nurture, or support us.
Most of us hold deeply ingrained beliefs that imply we are the only ones who can and must make it all happen. And that you have to do this or that to be enough or to be this worthy person. These perceptions completely separate us from universal laws and god.
It’s sad how many distorted perceptions we all carry from ancestral, cultural, religious, and societal conditioning. And how these conscious and unconscious distortions can shape or destroy our lives. What we believe or don’t believe about ourselves can create a great illusion and delusion lol.
How To Let Go And Let God Be The Caretaker
Some of the biggest distorted perceptions many empaths and highly sensitive people hold is that their role is to constantly support, fix, heal, or put others’ needs first. This is evident in the way you may absorb and or interact with other people’s energy or pain. It is so easy to over-identify with the healer or carer role on an unconscious and conscious level. When we believe we have to or should control or fix every situation. When the reality is so far from the truth.
We all have areas of life where we think we try to control situations. Maybe it’s your family, your relationship, your colleagues or staff, your career, or someone’s health, and well-being…
We soon learn when it’s much wiser to let go and let god, let things unfold, and let god be the caretaker of the situation.
Top Tips To Let Go And Let God
STOP And Check In With Yourself;
Notice when you are in a constant state of fear, and resistance when you want to control everything?
Praying for daily guidance in your life, relationships and work. Can make it much easier to let go and trust god.
Cultivate A Sense Of Trust;
when you learn how to trust there is a bigger picture, bigger plan it is much easier to let go when it is the right or healthier thing to do. You will also get a deeper sense of when it is appropriate to take action to get more soul-aligned.
when you learn how to practice acceptance of each present moment, you learn how to surrender in that specific moment. Please understand acceptance does not mean you are lying down or giving up on a situation. You are just surrendering to that moment, to make room for God to come in and either give you guidance for action or guidance for patience.
The Power Of Letting Go And Letting God
I spent a large part of my twenties housebound and at times bedbound. Oh how hard I tried to get better, a woman on a mission to fix, overcome, and try to control, every aspect of my health.
I meditated at least 20 minutes twice a day
I visualized myself healing every morning and the night going to bed.
I even followed a no sugar, no gluten, no dairy diet for many years.
I spend many thousands of pounds on so many forms of healing therapies.
I got all sorts of tests and nutritional support
But you know what the biggest healing breakthroughs were only when I started to let go and just be. Because the harder I tried to heal myself the more symptoms and further problems I created. I began to realise that fighting against disease is not always the best way to heal. In many ways you’re fighting with your body.
The Distress Of Denial And Resistance
I remember one particular day I was so frustrated my body wouldn’t do what I wanted it to do. I had been training to be a singer before I got ill and was fighting so hard to get back to doing what I loved. And it just wasn’t happening I could hardly walk never mind anything else.
My mum I think saw my frustration and said to me “Be still and know that I am god”. In a way, these were not the words I wanted to hear but something made me STOP.
When I look back it breaks my heart in some ways I was trying so hard to fix, and heal, myself. I was carrying so much shame that I wasn’t better, I wasn’t healed. I was a trained healer, I had studied so much, and tried so much and I still wasn’t fixed. I felt so much guilt that there was something wrong or bad about me. I just wanted to live that normal life like my friends, and my siblings, I suppose there was an element of why me? But the main problem I was unconsciously fighting, resisting, trying to survive never mind thriving.
The Healing Power As You Let Go And Let God
And the truth was, IT WAS only those times when I let go and let god. Those times when I stopped trying so hard and gave up that need to control. I started to get stronger and stronger. Because I wasn’t resisting what my body was trying to tell me
Now I have to say I was a bit impatient in my healing journey and it wasn’t plain sailing after that. Because it takes tremendous courage to truly surrender. I did get some of my health back but I was just so desperate to get some of my life back. The only way I knew how was to become self-employed. Despite still needing to sleep/rest up to 14 hours a day just to function, serious mobility, and stamina issues. I just wanted to feel valued, feel worthy, have a purpose, and not depend on the lowest of state benefits.
In many ways, my business gave me so much, it was highly empowering. But underneath like most of us, I hadn’t healed within, where it truly mattered. That place where all disease, unhappiness, addictions, stress, and anxiety reside. Like most of us, I wanted a role, an identity to mold myself into and control. Anything but this distorted perception of myself as a disabled weak fragile woman with no value. But despite being a stress therapist, I attracted very extreme business challenges. And had an unhealthy need to fight for my businesses at almost any cost because I over-identified with it.
In many ways, my business was my baby, my relationship, and a replacement for all those things I also loved that I could no longer do.
When You’re Forced To STOP, Let Go And Let God Into Your Life
It was often only when I was forced to STOP. I had to let go and let god I was reminded how powerful letting go is. And believe me, you would have thought I would have learned. I have received so many huge signs, particularly around my health; threatened eye loss, suspected cancer scares, surviving life-threatening sepsis and so much more. I seem to be a slow learner or very very stubborn lol.
You know, when we let go and let god and just be, it is not just deeply healing or spiritual. But it can be life-transforming and magical. In these moments, so much shifted in my life in such a deeper and profound way. We don’t have to do it all alone, we don’t have to live our lives in a specific way. We are supported, we are being guided, but are we listening, or maybe more importantly are we trusting?
What Is Your Souls Essence And How Do You Nurture It?
I believe our Souls Essence is our purest essence, who we are at a core level which includes our god spark. Not the stories we tell ourselves or who the world tells us we are. But that aspect of us that naturally shines through when we are allowed to be free to be ourselves.
When we remove the distracting material things of this world, we get to the course of one’s soul essence. Our souls essence is that mixture of beautiful gifts and traits we are here to share in the world.
But sadly most of us have such a distorted perception of ourselves and our purpose. We often can’t see or recognise our spiritual heart and souls essence never mind own them. This can stop us fully living our purpose or soul’s mission.
The Power Of Your Soul Essence
If you are a highly sensitive person or empath who is highly intuitive, psychic, or clairvoyant in any way. You maybe have been traumatised into believing your spiritual gifts, your deeper soul connection was weak, bad, evil, scary, stressful, or even exhausting from childhood.
Because very often highly sensitive child who is energetically wide open is viewed as weak, vulnerable, overdramatic, immature, dysfunctional by those around them. And often grow up believing this about themself.
Never mind a highly psychic sensitive child who is often viewed as crazy, mentally unwell, weird, having a vivid imagination, or simply dishonest.
Disconnection From Your Soul Essence
Parents and siblings of an HSP can struggle to understand their highly sensitives traits and gifts. This fear or negativity around the HSP’s soul essence can trigger a lot of conflicts not just around the empath or HSP but within them.
And as we know inner conflict is one of the biggest ways we all disempower ourselves and create dis-ease or dis-harmony within the psyche. So in many ways, we try to dampen down or cut off that connection to our unique essence because of our own fear.
I know how much I feared my own psychic and intuitive gifts in my life, particularly as a teenager. Although I naturally used many of my empathic and intuitive gifts in my healing and therapeutic work. I was terrified of some of my spiritual and psychic gifts from a young age especially being brought up in a religion that viewed many of these abilities as wrong.
This can be hugely disempowering and disabling. But thankfully I have started to recognize how much they are just part of my unique soul’s essence, part of what I am here to do.
But even if you are not an HSP or empath most people struggle to recognize their soul’s essence because most people today are so disconnected from their true self. They are so caught up with material and egoic distractions of the noisy mind they are not tapping into what is already there.
How To Build A Strong Connection With Your Souls Essence?
Meditate:
One of the simplest ways you can start building a more natural connection with your Souls Essence is through meditation. Particularly more traditional style meditations than guided meditations especially to begin with.
Because this initially helps us loosen our attachment to the ego to our over-dependence on the rational or logical mind.
If you are an HSP or empath who has spent most of your life in conflict with their psychic and intuitive gifts and sensitivities, your inner conflict will always want to depend on the rational logical mind.
Traditional meditation techniques help you spend time quiet time in the stillness with the self, your self. So you naturally build up a much stronger connection without expectation.
Get Grounded:
The highly sensitive person often struggles to make a strong trustworthy connection with the souls essence and their inner compass because they are so ungrounded. Empaths particularly are deeply affected by the energy, the emotions, and the world around them. So it is important that you ground regularly, as you can read in Why Highly Sensitive People Need To Ground More As you will learn grounding isn’t a new-age hippie technique.
Patience:
I believe one of the biggest mistakes many students make when they are trying to build up a bigger connection to their spiritual essence, soul’s purpose, and intuitive or psychic gifts. Is impatience because they want to run before they can walk. They go to meditation or a psychic class seeking a quick solution or magic wand instead of a desire to develop true masters these skills.
Instead of nurturing a true relationship with the self or their soul’s essence first. So they lack foundation or strong connection and then struggle to be truly authentic in their work.
I will give you an example, I began studying Reiki over 30 years ago and things have changed so dramatically in so many ways. Even the word Reiki Master/ Teacher now is a very loose term because most teachers today certainly haven’t spent years never mind decades mastering their reiki practice on a day-to-day basis.
In fact today many go on to Master/Teacher level in months or a few years often with very few case studies or client experiences under their belt.
Positive Intention:
With a positive intention in life, you create a much more positive vibration in your energy field. That does not mean you do not deny what emotions want to come up and flow out for healing. Emotions are simple energy in motion, we just need to allow them to flow but the biggest challenge most of us have is we either want to deny or block the feeling out of fear.
Or we focus on the story we believe triggered the emotion. And we ruminate that story over and over in our heads. Positive Intention opens you up to allowing magic, synchronicities, and spiritual guidance into your life. It is one of the reasons I prefer intentions rather than goals, goals can be too linear specific, and egoic. They don’t allow room for all the magical possibilities around us we couldn’t possibly imagine could happen.
Trust:
Like everything in life, a strong connection with a strong foundation is only built up over time, with integrity, authenticity, and trust. You have to build up trust with your soul’s essence. And believe me, if you take the time to do it right, your connection will become so much more powerful and unshakeable.
When you meditate, get grounded, and send out a more positive intent with patience and trust you are less likely to waste so much time and energy running around in circles with your ego. Distracting yourself with all sorts of things, ideas, courses, or things that never fulfill your passion, purpose, or inner being. You are more open to and likely to start naturally flowing with life’s synchronicities, life’s magic.
Learn the essential skills every empath and HSP needs that will help you nurture a deeper connection with your Souls Essence.
Start to truly know how to love and care for you, and become more empowered with your soul’s greatest gifts.
How Can You Reduce Stress As A Highly Sensitive Person
The Highly Sensitive Person
is so much more sensitive to external and internal stimuli they need to be more pro-active to reduce stress levels. Anxiety and stress are high in our western busy and over-stimulated way of life. But that doesn’t mean just because you are a highly sensitive person or highly empathic that you need to suffer from chronic anxiety or chronic stress.
Chronic Stress As A Highly Sensitive Person
Chronic stress is triggered by our fears, it is our reaction to the world around us, the way we psychologically and physiologically respond to situations, people, and the things around us. The biggest cause of stress today is our mental thoughts; our conditioning, what we attach and give power to.
But external stimuli such as environmental noise, information overload can certainly play their part so can environmental and internal toxins. But the way we view the world, situations, very much represents how we show up in the world.
If you are an HSP, a highly sensitive person who views the world as a highly harsh, uncaring, and dangerous place. You will show up in the world as a very fearful, highly anxious, sensitive soul. Who struggles to survive never mind find their way in the world.
The highly sensitive person or highly empathic person has tremendous gifts to share with the world. They have tremendous compassion and huge insight into those around them. Especially highly sensitive empaths because they are highly intuitive and highly sensitive to the psyche, the energy and emotions of the people, places and situations around them.
But this can make the sensitive person more vulnerable to other’s anxiety and stress, to mass consciousness, and to many other things that most people can comprehend.
Some famous people who have been regarded as HSP a highly sensitive person include Albert Einstein, Carl Jung, Diana- The Princess Of Wales, Judy Garland, Mother Theresa.
6 Simple Ways You Can Deal With Stress As A Highly Sensitive Person
Assertiveness- learn how to say NO, one of the biggest challenges many HSP’s and particular empaths have a challenge with. Is the ability to say NO. Empaths feel others’ pain and fears so deeply they often struggle to identify their own needs. So struggle to set healthy boundaries.
Be Yourself – trying to fit in, comparing yourself to other’s, judging yourself on other’s ideas of what you should and shouldn’t be like. Is a huge source of distress. You are more than enough, even in within your vulnerability, your physical, emotional, and even mental sensitivity, you are enough. You are unique, special, wonderful and here to be you.
Get Soul Connected – Develop a strong soul connection, build a deeper spiritual connection within yourself, your heart and soul. Become more soul-aligned in our spiritual path, to follow our own soul’s guidance and own truth.
Grounded – become more grounded physically, mentally, and emotionally get out of your head, and get connected to your body and the earth around and underneath you. I find the essential oil blend On Guard a great aid. When you are more grounded your energetic field is much stronger so you have healthier boundaries to other people’s negativity and emotions.
Be In The Moment– learn how to be more present, more in the moment, take each step, each day as it comes, let go of yesterday’s and tomorrow’s, see below as meditation and mindfulness can help. You tend to be more grounded and find it easier to naturally assert your own needs when you live in the moment.
Meditate – meditation is a powerful way to connect with the self, that space where stillness and calm resides, where wisdom, true insight and guidance evolves from. Meditation helps quieten the mind and helps develop a powerful connection with our inner wisdom.
Unplug- a highly sensitive person or highly empathic person usually needs to unplug and switch off more frequently than other’s do. HSP’s tend to have sensory processing issues which affects the autonomic nervous system. So the slightest over stimulation can trigger the “fight or flight” stress response. Leaving the HSP highly wired, anxious, stressed, and exhausted.
Cushioning – is a stress management strategy that helps cushion you from the impact of a stressor or stressors. It involves using any practical, therapeutic, or strategical strategy that will help you reduce stress and become more resilient to the stressors of everyday life. It can involve taking action, managing or reducing the stressor in question but also includes an aspect of balance into your life. It involves having a more healthier approach to your everyday life, so you are generally more stress-resilient.
Overcoming Chronic Stress As A Highly Sensitive Person
No matter how long you have suffered chronic anxiety or chronic stress as a highly sensitive person or an empath. You don’t just have to live with it, your life as an HSP doesn’t have to be stressful.
I was a highly anxious, stressed out teenager, who suffered chronic unworthiness, who tried to relentlessly to deny and resist my empathic traits and highly sensitive traits.
I started to suffer extreme health challenges including burn-out from the age of 19. And spent a large part of my twenties extremely ill, exhausted, and isolated. Out of this experience, I became a meditation teacher, healer, coach, and stress management expert.
I have helped many people including many highly sensitive people and highly sensitive children move from a chronic anxious or stress state of being to a more calm confident way of being.
No matter how challenging life may feel at the moment believe me your life as a highly sensitive person can be far richer, peaceful, lighter, and free than you can imagine with the right tools, the right healing and support.
You can learn turn to your sensitivity into your super power gifts, your super powers I share more in my Lightworkers Portal and my 👇 Free 6 Day Stress Resilience Course For Lightworkers 👇
Noise Sensitivity –The Challenges of Living With Hyperacusis
When most people talk about noise sensitivity they often think of simply an annoyance to specific noises. But noise sensitivity can be an extremely painful and a huge disabling challenge for many sufferers. I know as I began suffering from a severe form of hyperacusis over the last three years, which has made me mostly housebound.
As someone who is highly empathic and sensitive, I have slight noise sensitivity as long as I can remember. I always had challenges sleeping with even the slightest noise around me. But this started to become a much bigger problem when it developed into a painful and debilitating severe form of hyperacusis. Specific frequencies began to trigger extreme pain in my right ear, major balance issue and a complex movement disorder including non-epileptic seizures that leaves me with no control over my body.
My noise sensitivity issues appear to be caused by at least 30 years of bacterial/viral implications. But the cause is not clear with a complex medical history; M.E./CFS, suspected untreated chronic lyme at 14 years of age, head and face trauma, a rare cranial condition and survivor of sepsis. Although according to Anthony Williams book the Medical Medium Many of these neurotoxicity symptoms are simply the fourth stage of very a rare form of Epstein Barr Virus. But I am unsure if I will ever know for sure.
However the reality is noise sensitivity seems to be triggered by a variety of causes, diseases, accidents, trauma and stressors. Sound intolerance also appears to be a common problem in those who are highly sensitive or have sensory processing disorders. Many clinicians used to assume noise sensitivity has a purely psychological basis. But more research and evidence is demonstrating many of the physiological causes behind various types of noise sensitivity.
Noise sensitivity challenges are very common for those with sensory processing challenges on the Autism/Asperger Spectrum. Which can seriously impact their quality of daily living, education and their careers.
Noise sensitivity is something that is certainly misunderstood and misdiagnosed by many medical practitioners. Especially as there is so many different classifications and causes of sound sensitivity.
Here Are Some Of The Different Types Of Noise Sensitivity
Hyperacusis – is usually linked with amplified sensitivity or auditory increase in the central auditory system which is the hearing pathways of the brain. A “collapsed tolerance to normal environmental sound” The Hyperacusis Network. It is suggested that unexpected exposure to deafening noise can sometimes trigger hyperacusis. But there are some medical conditions associated with hyperacusis which include Bell’s palsy, Lyme disease, migraine, post head injury syndrome and William’s syndrome. Also many people with hyperacusis have tinnitus and many with tinnitus have hyperacusis.
There are two forms of hyperacusis; cochlear hyperacusis and vestibular hyperacusis
Cochlear Hyperacusis; annoyance, distress, ear pain and to very quiet or high-pitched sounds.
Vestibular Hyperacusis; balance, postural control and vertigo problems, nausea, fatigue. Known sometimes as Audiogenic Seizure Disorder and Tullio’s syndrome
Hypersensitive Hearing – where someone is born with a hyper sensitivity to frequencies above 70 decibels normally viewed as problematic frequencies. This is common in the autism spectrum.
Misophonia – is when someone hates a particular sound but it is not collapsed tolerance to sound. Usually there is an atypical limbic and autonomic nervous system response ( fight or flight response) which is related to the auditory system. Examples are repetitive sounds, consonants, sniffing, lip smacking which can often trigger emotional rage.
Phonophobia – is a sub-category of misophonia where one suffers anxiety/fear of events related to their noise sensitivity. Which triggers isolation in the outside world.
Recruitment – is when there is an increased perception of noise sensitivity when someone is suffering from a type of hearing loss where they cannot hear certain pitches but can hear others. Which is perceived as too quiet to dramatically loud.
Treatments And Support For Noise Sensitivity Issues
Ear Plugs or Ear Phones: For most types of noise sensitivity challenges recommendations are that ear plugs should not be relied on for day to day living. As there is suggestions that in the long run this may reduce tolerance to every day sounds. But it certainly would depend on the type and degree of noise sensitivity. I personally do not use ear plugs in my home doing most tasks. But because my noise sensitivity triggers severe balance challenges and a violent movement disorder. I choose to use ear phones outside otherwise I have very limited control over my bodily movements.
Noise Cancellation Ear Phones: Some people find noise cancellation useful, I find for long car drives they can cancel out and reduce some noise and can help reduce general over stimulation.
Pink Noise Devices: For some types of noise sensitivity pink noise devices are used as a form of sound therapy.
Meditation– helps you access that inner calm, peace inside despite what is happening around you. It helps you become more mentally, emotionally and physically resilient. Meditation has helped keep me so mentally strong over the last 25 years. It has helped me find my own equivalent to a power nap, when I can’t sleep due to noise issues.
Craniosacral Therapy – can be helpful where there has been noise sensitivity after trauma to the head and neck. Also bowen and osteopathy is useful for again alignment issues due to trauma.
Healthier Thinking – it is important with any condition or life challenge that a person has the ability to look at their life challenges and focus on what they can do, rather than what we feel disabled by.
Stress Management – generally reducing and manging your anxiety and stress can seriously help reduce any hyper sensitivity to external stimuli. And can be a great cushion at helping you remain as emotionally, mentally and physically strong against noise stressors.
CBD Oil: Cannabis derived oil and paste is used by many who’s noise sensitivity appears to be related to their medical conditions. It is widely uses by lymes and now more popular in ME/CFS sufferers.Many people with noise sensitivity issues including those with sensory processing issues seem to be benefiting from CBD or marijuana in some component.
On Guard Blend: Another product that I have found helpful in my building my sound tolerance is the essential oil blend by doTERRA . These are highly vibrational essential oils which appear to strengthen our energetic boundaries, boost the immune system and protect our body against viruses and microbes.
These are just some of the ways you can help manage your noise sensitivity issues. If like me travelling in a car is a huge problem because you can actually feel a lot of vibrations through the nerves of your body. I find sitting and placing my feet on memory foam cushions and a duvet helps to cushion me from the impact. Some cars are more better than others in relation to the seat and height design
I am fortunate enough to start seeing slowly but surely a reduction in the severity of my symptoms. Having lived with chronic health challenges that have disabled me in various ways for many years. I choose to focus daily on my abilities, strengths and gifts. I am very fortunate to be able to do my work online. Although it can have its challenges.
But when we focus on the things we can change and accept those we can’t. We come from a much stronger, calm and happier place. Noise sensitivity can be extremely challenging, it needs more research/awareness especially on the actual conditions that cause it.But meanwhile the healthiest thing you can do is look after your own health and wellbeing, especially your anxiety and stress levels. As anxiety and stress will certainly make you more hyper-sensitive .
If you are looking for help and support in managing your sensitivity challenges. I share lots of tips and resources in my free facebookcommunity Soul Care For Sensitives
