Being The Hero Of Your Own Journey – Soul Empowerment
The most empowering thing we can do in our lifetime is become the hero of our own life.
The more empowered we become in a more soul aligned way, the more we lead by example.
Being The Hero Of Your Own Life
We know its not what happens to us that defines us but how we overcome or face these challenges.
In the hero’s journey the hero goes through a spiritual journey.
Different initiations and life lessons, some we keep repeating until we learn and grow from them.
We all have an opportunity to experience and face these initiations, these lessons;
these gifts show up in our life up everyday, everyday we get to choose the next path.
Too many times it is easy to choose the the easier path,
instead of the courageous one;
the road less travelled that leads us to greater spiritual strength and so many riches.
Leading By Example By Being The Hero
Humanity right now is facing these initiations, these lessons on a hugely massive scale.
But the problem is most of humanity is struggling to be the hero of their own life and lead by example.
They are so confused, distracted and overwhelmed, they cannot see what is the right path or the truth.
That is why its so important for us all to detach from the chaos, the distractions and propaganda, designed to mislead and confuse us.
And do what we can to be quiet and still; connect with our own inner guidance, our own inner compass to access deeper truth.
The Hero Of Our Own Soul
We all have an inner navigation system that can give us truth and strength when learn how to full develop and use it. God has given us so many inner gifts, the gift of spiritual discernment and intuition.
The main problem is we invest so much time and energy in things that are not that important. We are so easily distracted, seduced or hi-jacked by instant gratification or self-soothing. That most people’s discernment is very corroded. Their intuition is something that is extremely undeveloped and not always accurate.
That is why in November I have decided to do a deep dive into getting more Soul Connected and Soul Empowered through meditation and different energetic and spiritual practices.
In my program Unlock Your Soul Power- 4 Steps To Soul Empowerment
starts Saturday 2nd Nov 9.30 am GMT and runs for 4 weeks.
I will be teaching a few powerful strategies from some of the great spiritual teachers and spiritual healers I have studied with to help you achieve deeper stillness, increased soul alignment and greater soul power.
Limited paces available so booking is on a first come first serve basis. So if you are curious or would like to learn more check out the link below
The Wounded Healer Journey. The pain, gifts and learning that comes from the wounded healer archetype.
Exploring the Wounded Healer Journey from the healers perspective. How our own deepest conscious and unconscious wounding, birth’s the gift to help heal others.
Why the healers’ journey is a lifelong path of self-discovery and self-exploration into our own inner world as much as the clients or patients we are called to help.
What is The Wounded Healer?
The Wounded Healer is a term that comes from the view that the healers is born from the light that enters the wound, the compassion that comes from one’s own suffering. In turn wanting us to help others because of that wounding.
The Wounded Healer concept originated from Greek Mythology;
When Chiron the Centurion was deeply wounded by Hercules’s deadly poisoned arrows. And although he could not heal himself, he used his deepest core wounding to help save another.
And in relation to the story of Asclepius the god of medicine, a Greek doctor who began a sanctuary to help heal others because of his own wounds.
The Light and Shadow Traits Of The Wounded Healer
The wounded healer is generally more conscious that their desire to help others heal is because of what they personally suffered from. But the reality is every physician, health or wellbeing practitioner, therapist or healer has core wounding.
Every person has wounds that cause them pain, suffering, triggers some sort of emotional reaction. That is why a healer who believes they are healed, have very little awareness and self-awareness.
No matter how healed you think you are. We are all a work in progress, all healers, all humans are wounded at some level.
We all have both light and shadow traits that show up as archetypal patterns in everyday life. That is why the healers’ journey is a never ending path of self-discovery and healing of our shadow wounds.
We all have shadow traits that need to be healed and as healers we need to be more self aware about any internal wounding’s or projections we may put onto our clients. So as not to cause more harm, as they say “heal thyself”.
My Own Wounds On The Wounded Healer Journey
As a wounded healer myself who began my own journey into becoming a healer over 30 years ago after facing all sorts of mental, emotional, physical and spiritual wounding. Especially wounding around medical harm and injury, and further wounding from a broken medical and healthcare system, ill equipped healers and therapists.
My own wounds led me to down a long path, a very road less travelled path. Where I met and worked with so many wounded healers. Many compassionate and self aware healers but equally many healers who lacked compassion, awareness or even just proper training. Who were actually inflicting further wounding and harm to their clients, patients and students.
From a therapist and healer’s perspective this made me question so much around the healers role and standardisation from an ethical perspective. Do healers today get enough training, go through a long enough and deep enough apprenticeship to prevent them from really harming others.
Every week I see so many over generalisations or comment by healers, therapist s or coaches that comes from deep lack of awareness, insight and experience. Ideologies that on so many levels can be deeply damaging to the psyche of the vulnerable and suffering client, the naive student.
Common Traits Of The Wounded Healer
Light Traits Of The Wounded Healer
Here are some gifts of the wounded healer.
Awareness and Self Awareness:
Wounded healers naturally have good self-awareness and awareness of others.This is what makes them natural healers as they are more aware of others needs, challenges and themself. They tend to know themself at a deeper level so are more aware of their own shadow which is extremely important in any sort of healing work.
Compassion and Empathy:
The wounded healer has great compassion for others, some have great empathy, that is why many empaths are natural healers and strong caregivers and nurturers who have to heal their own wounding around boundaries.
Deep Calling Or Purpose:
A deep sense of purpose, they just know in the heart and soul their calling is to help or help heal others.
Hero Traits:
Wounded healers can also have an element of the hero archetype where through courage, tenacity and determination through their own suffering they inspire, empower and motivate others. That is why the wounded healers journey is part of the hero’s journey.
Intuitive And Insightful:
The wounded healer is a natural healer, deeply intuitive and aware of things at a deeper level, they can sense beyond the surface of what is going on at the individual and collective level. That is why many wounded healers become energy healers and spiritual healers.
Helper Since Childhood:
Wounded healers tend to have always been life’s little helpers, starting from childhood.
Self Growth:
Have the ability to look at all pain, suffering and learning as an opportunity to grow and evolve.
Shadow Traits Of The Wounded Healer
Here are some dark traits that can show up in the unhealed wounded healer
End up suffering mental, emotional, physical and even spiritual burnout. Due to lack of healthy boundaries, psychic protection.
Destroyer Traits:
Destroys or disables others through their own wounding, their own pain, or egoic desires. Causing direct nor indirect pain to others or those they work with.
Co-dependency and Enabling:
When one constantly enables or rescues others. Provides strength, support and rescuing to others preventing the other take self-responsibility or co-dependent relationships. Or where therapists encourage clients to come to them for years or months and the client is not making huge progress.
Gaslighting:
Where one gaslights their clients, patients or students reality. This can come from narcissistic wounding, or even to control over power the client or patient such as from very biased, fixed ideology about what is going on with the client.
God or Saviour Tendencies:
Where the physician or healer projects on to the patient or person that they are the one doing the healing, the one saving them. Implying at some level they are their god or saviour.
Martyr Traits:
Will sacrifice their own wellbeing and life for others, for their work.
Illusion And Manipulation:
One of the strong archetypal traits in many healers is the alchemist and magician. The dark magician will often use illusion or trickery to manipulate, control or seduce the client or patient. For example making implications or promises they cannot guarantee, misrepresent information or knowledge for their own gain or from naivety.
Prostitute Traits:
Where one sells their soul, their spiritual integrity and gifts to the highest bidder for material or financial gain. This has become a big problem in world where spirituality and healing vocations has become inverted, over commercialised, seduced by glammer, populism and even celebrity status. Than what is at the heart of the true healers journey.
The Healers Journey
What I came to realise as a wounded healer on my own healing journey, was that as healers we need to constantly evolve and grow in our own healing, consciousness and awareness. What I believed 30 years ago as a healer is very different on what I believe know.
In a polarised world where we have so many light and shadow aspects to us and the collective. It is important to remind ourself that the healers path is painted with pain, gifts, especially of privilege and honour to the people we get to help and support. Because in that process we heal ourselves through the shadow aspects of another.
About Eileen Burns
Eileen is a highly compassionate and dedicated healer, therapist, soul empowerment coach and mentor. Who is passionate about helping awakened healers and lightworkers step more fully in their life and soul purpose with strength and ease. She provides a wide range of self study courses, meditations, one to one inner child, archetypal and spiritual business support sessions. More about Eileen’s Expertise and Qualifications Click Here.
The Wounded Healer Podcast
Wounded Healer To Hero Podcast is a brand new video podcast with Eileen and healer friends as co-hosts.
7 Signs You Are Being Gaslighted In Therapy Or Healing
What is gaslighting? And what are some of the most common signs of being gaslighted in therapy, healing or coaching? How to deal with a therapist, healer or even coach that is gaslighting you.
What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is basically a manipulative tactic one person uses to gain control or power over someone else by basically seeding doubt in someone else’s mind of their own reality. By trying to instil confusion over the person’s own memories, beliefs and sanity.
Gaslighting is a form of control and in many ways psychological abuse and although narcissistic gaslighting is a widely recognised behaviour pattern adopted by narcissists.
Most of us experience some form of gaslighting in our life at some time, especially in situations where we are vulnerable and there is an imbalance of power.
That is why sadly gaslighting at work and in the patient-to-doctor and client-to-therapist relationship is so common. It is not always caused by deliberate abuse or even recognised but it is something I see evidence of in a big way every single day.
We can all get caught up in it gaslighting in subtle ways even though it can be extremely damaging even traumatising to the individual’s psyche, self-confidence and self-esteem.
Gaslighted By The Medical And Healing Profession
I spent years being gaslighted by the medical profession and health practitioners, who didn’t believe the medical challenges I was dealing with.
Mainly due to their own lack of awareness, insight and experience.
It taught me valuable lessons about how well the wounded healer within us all can mean well but can also cause harm to the clients we are supposed to help heal and empower.
And made me question so much around the potential harm around so much fast-track training in the therapy, healing and coaching sector. Especially when I met so many people including clients who were gaslighted by the people that they were supposed to protect them.
Psychological abuse that would have me questioning my own sanity, nearly cost me my eye, my life and the loss of tens of thousands of pounds in the wrong types of therapy and healing.
It highlighted how much a little bit of knowledge and the need to be right or in control can be dangerous even in the most well-meaning individual.
And how much our own personal agenda, our own personal bias and beliefs as a therapist can seriously thwart, harm or sabotage another person’s healing process and self-empowerment.
A more recent visit to a chiropractor highlighted the cost of this problem. After revealing extreme trauma and misalignment to my spine, shoulder, head and body (4 inches of misalignment in very key areas of my body) that went in many ways undiagnosed and untreated for so long that it had caused even more complications. Because of such a push by others what I was experiencing was more psychological when it was physiological.
Sadly this is becoming a huge problem in some forms of healing and therapy, where too many healers lacking expertise, knowledge and awareness are gaslighting their clients’ reality into such an unhealthy degree that many clients are questioning their reality or feel too ashamed, guilty to seek they help they really need.
Gaslighting In The Workplace
Gaslighting in the workplace is one of the most psychologically abusive forms of control in the workplace. It can lead to extreme mental and emotional challenges for the victim or victims. It is something that is not always easy to address, especially when a well-seasoned narcissist knows how to play the victim and the environment well..
Gaslighting In Today’s Society
Sadly gaslighting by people in government and power has never been as strong in the West and worldwide as we have seen over the last few years. This alongside horrendous censorship has created a mass amount of manipulation and abuse of power. This can leave the people questioning their reality, in a state of confusion and disempowerment, a place where the abusers want their victims to be so they can control them even further.
7 Common Signs Of Being Gaslighted In Therapy
Signs of gaslighting in therapy, healing, counselling and coaching.
Creates Doubt/Confusion:
The therapist or healer ignites doubt, and confusion or even tries to trivialise or twist your reality about a situation. This is very common when your reality does not fit someone else’s belief system or agenda. Now of course in certain types of therapy, it is the therapist’s job to help you renavigate distorted thinking. But there is a fine line between twisting someone’s reality and helping them create healthier thinking patterns.
Constantly Tears You Down:
They will tear you down, then try to build you back up, tear you down, build you back up in a way that creates energetic chaos and instability. It feels very unsafe and in many ways is extremely ungrounding and even traumatizing.
Ignite Shame And Guilt:
Often an abusive therapist will take advantage by deliberately igniting shame, and guilt in their client as a way to gain power or control over the client in the session. Or even blame them for their mistakes or ignorance, shifting responsibility for their harmful actions or ignorance onto the client.
Actions Don’t Reflect Words:
They will tell you they are here to help you or support you but their actions imply the exact opposite when you are being gaslighted in therapy, counselling or coaching.
Attempt To Control Your Decisions:
Another way gaslighting can show up is when a healer, therapist or coach tries to control your decisions. They will try to exert power, and control over the decisions you make in your life, relationships, health or business. This is also seen in health professionals or therapists who believe they are the answer to all of your problems and encourage co-dependency issues.
Create Co-Dependency Issues:
Gaslighting often has a huge impact on the victim’s self-esteem and self-confidence this and the constant questioning of their reality and sanity leads them to be more vulnerable to mental and emotional instability and co-dependency issues in the client-to-therapist or professional relationship.
Misdiagnose You:
Sadly a very common form of gaslighting in the medical and healing profession today is misdiagnosing someone as crazy or that someone’s symptoms are all in their head rather than in their physical reality. We see this a lot in newer healers, therapists and health professionals who have a little bit of knowledge, think they know it all and as we say don’t know what they don’t know. It often comes from lack of experience, knowledge and lack of awareness.
How To Deal With Being Gaslighted
How to deal with gaslighting in a therapy, healing or coaching session.
Recognise You Are Being Gaslighted:
It is so important to know when you are being gaslighted, awareness is key. When people talk about gaslighting they often just think about gaslighting in an abusive relationship. But gaslighting happens in different facets of life.
There is a very fine line between a therapist or healer who deliberately manipulates, bullies, gaslights or even coerces you to diminish your power and ability to decide what is right for you. Or one who is just naive and unaware but sadly both can be damaging.
Stand In Your Truth:
Stand in your truth, when being gaslighted. Don’t let someone try to manipulate your experiences. Although some types of therapy and healing are there to help us expand or way of thinking, to help us see our reality is a perception and what we have attracted and manifested into our life.
Don’t let any spiritual or wellbeing professional try to doubt or diminish your personal truth, your experiences. because of their inability to handle, deal or listen to your truth. If you are experiencing serious abuse of power don’t be scared to call them out.
Remember They Haven’t Walked In Your Shoes:
Remember that person has not walked or lived in your shoes, they are only seeing a tiny snap shot of your life from their own lens. That lens could be crystal clear or it could be very distorted. We have to be open to our own blind spots and know we all have our own way of seeing the world, which may or not be truth. But therapists can also have a certain bias, it is why therapists of psychology often see their clients mostly through their psychological perceptions, why many inner child therapists tend see their clients challenges through the eyes of mental and emotional trauma from childhood. And why many bodyworkers mostly view their clients challenges through the world of physiological stress, trauma or unhealthy posture.
Listen To Your Own Soul:
The clearer your connection to your heart, soul and god connection, the easier it is to become resilient to other people’s distortions, projections and energetic interferences. This come from not just a good soul connection but good soul power.
The problem is if you are really energetically sensitive and highly empathic, you are also more open to other people’s wounding and trauma in the collective and this is where it can get energetically confusing,
So in the process of your own healing it is so important to choose not just the right therapist or healer but one with the right skillset and tools for your specific needs that will help honour your soul’s path.
Healing From Being Constantly Gaslighted
One of my biggest lessons has been the importance of choosing the right therapist or healer for me. Learning to ask the right questions and look for key signs that someone may or may not have the expertise or level of awareness or consciousness I need or want.
This includes investing in healers and therapists who are not just about getting the certificates but actually do the inner work.
One of the reasons I now personally choose to mostly invest in therapists, healers and wellness practitioners who have been in the field a long time, highly conscious and awake lightworkers who are highly invested in their own healing journey and spiritual growth. Awake enough to know what is going on in the world.
None of us are perfect, we are all learning, growing and expanding in consciousness and awareness and it is important you choose a therapist or healer that aligns with you.
The last thing you need in the process of trying to heal from gaslighting trauma from a therapist is to face further gaslighting from another healer or therapist or work with a therapist or healer who is not self-aware enough to support you in the best way.
End Any Therapist Agreement That Isn’t Working
Don’t be shy or scared about ending any agreement with a healer or therapist where you feel it is just not working. I know personally I have spent thousands of pounds on healing and therapy that wasn’t the right fit. At times I went to healers and therapists for years just because I felt coerced or obliged.
Avoid working with any therapist or healer who tries to manipulate you into working with them or believes you should be going to them because you know them. This is extremely unprofessional and unethical and in many cases, it can be better to go to someone you don’t know on a personal level.
Self Compassion And Self-Forgiveness
Be kind and compassionate towards yourself, therapy and healing is a process, we all have wounds and challenges that we need help and support with at times for so many reasons. When we are vulnerable and seeking help or answers we don’t always make the wisest choices.
Bring in self-compassion and self-forgiveness and of course forgiveness for the other who is only functioning from their level of consciousness or awareness at that point.
And remember like all forms of healing, take one day at a time, be open to miracles but be patient with yourself when that healing takes a little longer than you hoped or planned.
