7 Signs You Are Being Gaslighted In Therapy Or Healing
What is gaslighting? And what are some of the most common signs of being gaslighted in therapy, healing or coaching? How to deal with a therapist, healer or even coach that is gaslighting you.
What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is basically a manipulative tactic one person uses to gain control or power over someone else by basically seeding doubt in someone else’s mind of their own reality. By trying to instil confusion over the person’s own memories, beliefs and sanity.
Gaslighting is a form of control and in many ways psychological abuse and although narcissistic gaslighting is a widely recognised behaviour pattern adopted by narcissists.
Most of us experience some form of gaslighting in our life at some time, especially in situations where we are vulnerable and there is an imbalance of power.
That is why sadly gaslighting at work and in the patient-to-doctor and client-to-therapist relationship is so common. It is not always caused by deliberate abuse or even recognised but it is something I see evidence of in a big way every single day.
We can all get caught up in it gaslighting in subtle ways even though it can be extremely damaging even traumatising to the individual’s psyche, self-confidence and self-esteem.
Gaslighted By The Medical And Healing Profession
I spent years being gaslighted by the medical profession and health practitioners, who didn’t believe the medical challenges I was dealing with.
Mainly due to their own lack of awareness, insight and experience.
It taught me valuable lessons about how well the wounded healer within us all can mean well but can also cause harm to the clients we are supposed to help heal and empower.
And made me question so much around the potential harm around so much fast-track training in the therapy, healing and coaching sector. Especially when I met so many people including clients who were gaslighted by the people that they were supposed to protect them.
Psychological abuse that would have me questioning my own sanity, nearly cost me my eye, my life and the loss of tens of thousands of pounds in the wrong types of therapy and healing.
It highlighted how much a little bit of knowledge and the need to be right or in control can be dangerous even in the most well-meaning individual.
And how much our own personal agenda, our own personal bias and beliefs as a therapist can seriously thwart, harm or sabotage another person’s healing process and self-empowerment.
A more recent visit to a chiropractor highlighted the cost of this problem. After revealing extreme trauma and misalignment to my spine, shoulder, head and body (4 inches of misalignment in very key areas of my body) that went in many ways undiagnosed and untreated for so long that it had caused even more complications. Because of such a push by others what I was experiencing was more psychological when it was physiological.
Sadly this is becoming a huge problem in some forms of healing and therapy, where too many healers lacking expertise, knowledge and awareness are gaslighting their clients’ reality into such an unhealthy degree that many clients are questioning their reality or feel too ashamed, guilty to seek they help they really need.
Gaslighting In The Workplace
Gaslighting in the workplace is one of the most psychologically abusive forms of control in the workplace. It can lead to extreme mental and emotional challenges for the victim or victims. It is something that is not always easy to address, especially when a well-seasoned narcissist knows how to play the victim and the environment well..
Gaslighting In Today’s Society
Sadly gaslighting by people in government and power has never been as strong in the West and worldwide as we have seen over the last few years. This alongside horrendous censorship has created a mass amount of manipulation and abuse of power. This can leave the people questioning their reality, in a state of confusion and disempowerment, a place where the abusers want their victims to be so they can control them even further.
7 Common Signs Of Being Gaslighted In Therapy
Signs of gaslighting in therapy, healing, counselling and coaching.
Creates Doubt/Confusion:
The therapist or healer ignites doubt, and confusion or even tries to trivialise or twist your reality about a situation. This is very common when your reality does not fit someone else’s belief system or agenda. Now of course in certain types of therapy, it is the therapist’s job to help you renavigate distorted thinking. But there is a fine line between twisting someone’s reality and helping them create healthier thinking patterns.
Constantly Tears You Down:
They will tear you down, then try to build you back up, tear you down, build you back up in a way that creates energetic chaos and instability. It feels very unsafe and in many ways is extremely ungrounding and even traumatizing.
Ignite Shame And Guilt:
Often an abusive therapist will take advantage by deliberately igniting shame, and guilt in their client as a way to gain power or control over the client in the session. Or even blame them for their mistakes or ignorance, shifting responsibility for their harmful actions or ignorance onto the client.
Actions Don’t Reflect Words:
They will tell you they are here to help you or support you but their actions imply the exact opposite when you are being gaslighted in therapy, counselling or coaching.
Attempt To Control Your Decisions:
Another way gaslighting can show up is when a healer, therapist or coach tries to control your decisions. They will try to exert power, and control over the decisions you make in your life, relationships, health or business. This is also seen in health professionals or therapists who believe they are the answer to all of your problems and encourage co-dependency issues.
Create Co-Dependency Issues:
Gaslighting often has a huge impact on the victim’s self-esteem and self-confidence this and the constant questioning of their reality and sanity leads them to be more vulnerable to mental and emotional instability and co-dependency issues in the client-to-therapist or professional relationship.
Misdiagnose You:
Sadly a very common form of gaslighting in the medical and healing profession today is misdiagnosing someone as crazy or that someone’s symptoms are all in their head rather than in their physical reality. We see this a lot in newer healers, therapists and health professionals who have a little bit of knowledge, think they know it all and as we say don’t know what they don’t know. It often comes from lack of experience, knowledge and lack of awareness.
How To Deal With Being Gaslighted
How to deal with gaslighting in a therapy, healing or coaching session.
Recognise You Are Being Gaslighted:
It is so important to know when you are being gaslighted, awareness is key. When people talk about gaslighting they often just think about gaslighting in an abusive relationship. But gaslighting happens in different facets of life.
There is a very fine line between a therapist or healer who deliberately manipulates, bullies, gaslights or even coerces you to diminish your power and ability to decide what is right for you. Or one who is just naive and unaware but sadly both can be damaging.
Stand In Your Truth:
Stand in your truth, when being gaslighted. Don’t let someone try to manipulate your experiences. Although some types of therapy and healing are there to help us expand or way of thinking, to help us see our reality is a perception and what we have attracted and manifested into our life.
Don’t let any spiritual or wellbeing professional try to doubt or diminish your personal truth, your experiences. because of their inability to handle, deal or listen to your truth. If you are experiencing serious abuse of power don’t be scared to call them out.
Remember They Haven’t Walked In Your Shoes:
Remember that person has not walked or lived in your shoes, they are only seeing a tiny snap shot of your life from their own lens. That lens could be crystal clear or it could be very distorted. We have to be open to our own blind spots and know we all have our own way of seeing the world, which may or not be truth. But therapists can also have a certain bias, it is why therapists of psychology often see their clients mostly through their psychological perceptions, why many inner child therapists tend see their clients challenges through the eyes of mental and emotional trauma from childhood. And why many bodyworkers mostly view their clients challenges through the world of physiological stress, trauma or unhealthy posture.
Listen To Your Own Soul:
The clearer your connection to your heart, soul and god connection, the easier it is to become resilient to other people’s distortions, projections and energetic interferences. This come from not just a good soul connection but good soul power.
The problem is if you are really energetically sensitive and highly empathic, you are also more open to other people’s wounding and trauma in the collective and this is where it can get energetically confusing,
So in the process of your own healing it is so important to choose not just the right therapist or healer but one with the right skillset and tools for your specific needs that will help honour your soul’s path.
Healing From Being Constantly Gaslighted
One of my biggest lessons has been the importance of choosing the right therapist or healer for me. Learning to ask the right questions and look for key signs that someone may or may not have the expertise or level of awareness or consciousness I need or want.
This includes investing in healers and therapists who are not just about getting the certificates but actually do the inner work.
One of the reasons I now personally choose to mostly invest in therapists, healers and wellness practitioners who have been in the field a long time, highly conscious and awake lightworkers who are highly invested in their own healing journey and spiritual growth. Awake enough to know what is going on in the world.
None of us are perfect, we are all learning, growing and expanding in consciousness and awareness and it is important you choose a therapist or healer that aligns with you.
The last thing you need in the process of trying to heal from gaslighting trauma from a therapist is to face further gaslighting from another healer or therapist or work with a therapist or healer who is not self-aware enough to support you in the best way.
End Any Therapist Agreement That Isn’t Working
Don’t be shy or scared about ending any agreement with a healer or therapist where you feel it is just not working. I know personally I have spent thousands of pounds on healing and therapy that wasn’t the right fit. At times I went to healers and therapists for years just because I felt coerced or obliged.
Avoid working with any therapist or healer who tries to manipulate you into working with them or believes you should be going to them because you know them. This is extremely unprofessional and unethical and in many cases, it can be better to go to someone you don’t know on a personal level.
Self Compassion And Self-Forgiveness
Be kind and compassionate towards yourself, therapy and healing is a process, we all have wounds and challenges that we need help and support with at times for so many reasons. When we are vulnerable and seeking help or answers we don’t always make the wisest choices.
Bring in self-compassion and self-forgiveness and of course forgiveness for the other who is only functioning from their level of consciousness or awareness at that point.
And remember like all forms of healing, take one day at a time, be open to miracles but be patient with yourself when that healing takes a little longer than you hoped or planned.
How To Nurture Your Inner Child, Comfort and Soothe Our Inner Child in a deeply healing and supportive way.
What is Your Inner Child?
Your inner child is part of you, part of your psyche that has been present from the time you have been conceived.
Our inner child forms different archetypal traits to adapt and survive our environment and family system.
It is where most of us form healthy and unhealthy archetypal traits, personality traits that shape our beliefs and behavioural patterns in adulthood.
The reason why we all have a wounded inner child that needs healing and healthy parenting.
No matter how healthy, caring, and nurturing our childhood was, we all have inner child wounds, we all have happy, self-sabotaging, and destructive patterns that impact our lives.
Nurturing Your Inner Child
Nurturing your inner child is an important part of helping to comfort, reassure, and soothe your inner child to become a more happy healthy adult.
But like everything in life, there is a healthy way to nurture and approach your inner child and a not-so-healthy way.
It is that fine balance of being able to listen and acknowledge the inner child while equally parenting the inner child in a nurturing way.
Like every child, your inner child can want and crave all sorts of unhealthy patterns in an attempt to self-soothe its trauma, neglect, abuse, and loss.
This is why it is so important to approach healing your inner child and nurturing your inner child in a healthy balanced and informed way.
10 Ways To Nurture Your Inner Child
Connect With Your Inner Child –
You cannot truly and effectively nurture your child within until you can make a healthy and deep soul connection with your inner child. This is a step that shouldn’t be rushed and it requires you to set times in your day, and week where you make that conscious connection.
Many children of certain generations were seen but not heard. And in many ways not seen.
The ability to listen to what our child archetypes and inner child are trying to tell us is of vital importance. If we don’t listen closely enough we can miss very important information, that is why listening to your inner child is so important and one of the most fundamental basics of inner child therapy.
Being Fully Present With Your Inner Child –
The ability to be fully present requires the ability to be still, be quiet, and be fully in the moment is so important. If you struggle to be still, struggle to connect within or to your soul’s essence. You are going to struggle to connect with the heart of your child’s archetypes that need your attention. That is why the right meditation techniques and soul connection skills can be extremely helpful.
Honour Your Inner Child –
it is so important for us all to respect, value, and honour our inner child and all our archetypal traits in a balanced and healthy way. Just like honouring, respecting, and valuing a child we love, we have to honour that child in a way without reinforcing unhealthy child wound patterns.
This is why honouring and valuing the child archetypes within us also involves parenting our inner child to recognise unhealthy stuck patterns. For example, the shadow traits of the eternal child who doesn’t want to grow up and chooses toto avoid growing up and taking self-responsibility. The victim child who chooses to be a victim of their circumstances, who doesn’t value, honour, or respect themself enough to create change.
Soothe Your Inner Child –
Healthy self-soothing is an important aspect of nurturing our inner child, the key is healthy soothing. Unhealthy patterns of self-soothing is eating a full tub of ice cream or any other form of unhealthy comfort eating or relying on drugs or prescription medication to self-soothe.
Instead self soothe using relaxation techniques, havening, a relaxing bath, calming and grounding essential oils anything that will help calm down the nervous system in a healthy balanced way.
Play With Your Inner Child –
As adults we forget to have fun, we forget to make some playtime in our day, in our week, our life. It is so important to have fun, and laughter, and to take time out. The entertainer, jester archetype can help remind us of these qualities.
Get Creative With Your Inner Child –
Creativity can be a powerful therapeutic tool in inner child work, the right type of creativity that feels aligned with your soul can be very soothing and nurturing. Tapping into the artist, creator archetype or creative child archetype or magical child archetype can help inspire that creativity.
Exploring different creative hobbies can be extremely healing and can help reignite more passion and creativity in our lives.
Send A Letter To And From Our Inner Child –
Sending a deeply caring and loving letter to and from our inner child can be extremely healing and cathartic. Sending a letter to your inner child to tell your child that you love and care for them can help open deeper doors to self-healing. Sending a letter from the wounded child to the adult you stating what you really need right now can really help you identify what your wounded child needs and wants at a deeper soul level.
Parent The Inner Child –
Parenting our inner child is a vital part of the healing process, if we cannot parent our inner child we cannot help the child grow up in a healthy and balanced way. A healthy parent helps teach our inner child healthy patterns that help us become healthy happy grown up.
Unhealthy parenting teaches unconsciously unhealthy patterns, self-sabotaging, and destructive patterns in our lives. So part of parenting your inner child is teaching your inner child a new way of being
Healing Our Inner Child –
The right Inner Child Healing can be extremely powerful at helping you make massive shifts in your life, your relationships, your business, and your career.
So it is important to choose the right type of inner child therapist, inner child healer, or inner child work that will best suit your inner child’s needs. Choose an inner child therapist that understands trauma, self-sabotaging patterns, and your most dominant archetypal traits that are running or ruining your life.
I have personally met and worked with so many clients through the years that have felt more damaged or traumatised by therapists or healers that don’t know what they are doing.
Listening to what our inner child needs is crucial. And don’t be shy about asking the therapist about their qualifications, level, and area of expertise in inner child work; years of experience, and how many clients they have worked with. It is important our inner child feels safe and is safe with a therapist, counsellor, coach, or healer.
If you are ready to help soothe, nurture, and heal your inner child into that happy healthy child and adult you deserve and are meant to be check out my new Lightworkers portal, where you can access a variety of inner child meditations, inner child courses, and spiritual self-development tools and techniques and so much more.
Sample some of my Free Inner Child And Archetypal Resources in the Lightworkers Library.
Understanding The 12 Main Archetypes In Therapy, Healing and Business. What are Archetypes? And what benefits can come from understanding your main archetypal traits in your life, relationships, and work?
Understanding The Main 12 Archetypes IN LIFE AND BUSINESS
Understanding Archetypes is extremely useful in certain types of therapy and healing when approached in the right way. It is a great way to understand certain human behaviors and traits, as well as societal constructs.
I began studying Archetypes over 25 years ago from the psychological and psychotherapy perspective, the spiritual and healing perspective, and then Archetypal Branding and Marketing.
I found archetypal work is an important element of Inner Child Healing and can be extremely helpful in helping us identify more clearly our strengths and our weaknesses.
To understand Archetypes it is helpful to look at the work and views of Swiss Psychiatrist and Psychoanalyst Carl Jung. Specifically his Jung Archetypes and the Jungian Concept of the Psyche.
Carl believed that we all have human inclinations and/or traits that we in many ways are born with. What he regarded as heritable psychic structures that play a part in how we experience and show up in life.
When he used the word the Psyche he viewed the Psyche as the all-encompassing aspects of one’s thoughts, emotions, feelings, and behaviour. While many today would describe the psyche as just the mind.
According to Jung, he viewed the psyche as 3 Major Realms
Consciousness – Awareness which he regarded as the ego; the memories, thoughts and emotions you are aware of.
Personal Consciousness – a layer where we hold events that we are not consciously aware of It is where we hold events we have perhaps ignored, denied or discarded.
Collective Consciousness – the realm that holds in many ways a whole collection of Universal Traits; shared attitudes, beliefs, ideas, and wisdom that relate to individuals and large groups of individuals.
Through clinical patient and historical research, Jung discovered that many individuals no matter their culture, society, religious status, or beliefs, held commonly shared unconscious traits. From this understanding and research, the concept of Archetypes was introduced.
The 4 Major Jungian Archetypes
The Anima/Animus,
The Persona,
The Self
The Shadow
This would eventually lead to Jung suggesting there were a variety of different archetypes, which included the Child, Mother, Father, Hero, Trickster, and Wise Old Man…
He explained that different archetypes were not fixed but interchangeable with other archetypes. That is why what is regarded as the 12 Main Archetypes can look very different in certain types of work.
What Are The 12 Main Archetypes?
Today the work of the 12 main Archetypes has evolved from Jung’s Main Archetypes.
For example, Psychometric and Archetype analysis is used to assess certain traits; attitudes, behaviour, strengths, and weaknesses in therapy, healing, job placement, education, branding, and marketing.
The 12 main archetypes help us recognise and understand the most common dominant traits in the collective.
The 12 Main Archetypes
The use of Archetypes has become a bit of a trend. So Jung’s 12 Main Archetypes in many ways have been adapted and modernised to suit modern times but for this blog concerning therapy and healing I have chosen the 12 main archetypes below
The light aspect of the Caregiver, the Nurturer Archetype is an individual whose traits are mainly selfless, their strongest traits in life are empathy, compassion, and giving. They naturally want to nurture and protect those they meet. They are often very strong empaths and lightworkers.
Common shadow traits of the Caregiver is their tendency to protect and give unconditionally without thinking. Victim, Martyrdom, Rescuer Traits. This often leads to over-giving, lack of boundaries, and difficulties saying no. Which can lead to being undervalued, taken advantage of, exhaustion, burnout, frustration, and resentment.
The Creative Archetype’s most positive traits include the natural flair and ability to dream, create, and be original. They have a tremendous gift of imagination, innovation and self-expression
The Artist or Creative Archetype’s shadow traits include perfectionism, strong traits of neuroticism, or a tendency to put creativity over positive solutions. Overthinking and emotional instability can lead to relationship difficulties and introversion.
The light aspects of the Innocent are their optimism, positivity, their ability to see good in everyone, and their desire for everyone to like them. They tend to believe the world is a great place to live. They long for innocence, rebirth, and in many ways salvation.
The shadow aspect of the innocent is their naivety, innocence, and dreamlike view of the world and others means they can lack judgment and discernment. They are one of the easiest archetypes to impress but are fearful of being punished for doing wrong.
The light aspect of the Explorer Archetype is their sense of adventure and freedom-seeking. They enjoy seeking and exploring new places, and new experiences, they have a strong tendency towards personal freedom and space.
The shadow aspects of the Explorer Archetype include the restlessness or disease
that comes with being bored or feeling you are in one place or doing the same thing for too long. Their lack of fear or lack of boundaries for new adventures, and new places can lead to challenges around commitment, focus, persistence, rules, and boundaries. It can also be a major cause of unhealthy forms of escapism like drugs, alcohol, adrenaline junkie.
Hero Archetype is also known as Champion, Defender, Rescuer, Warrior
Positive aspects of the Hero Archetype include the depth of courage, energy, and power they have to achieve something they believe is the honourable thing to do. They are about making the world a better place, defending the rights of others. They can often see the bigger picture concerning governments, organisations and society.
Shadow aspects of the Hero Archetype can be a strong need for power and limelight. Their tremendous level of ambition can get work against them or others. Doing almost anything including stepping over others or sacrificing themself to achieve that goal. Can be viewed negatively as Conspiracy Theorists although they tend to have a wider view than others on what is going on.
The Magician and Alchemist Archetype’s most positive and light traits include the ability to be a catalyst for transformation and growth. They tend to have a much stronger and deeper connection to the universe and unseen than many other archetypes do. So tend to have strong intuitive and or psychic traits. I tend to attract a lot of Alchemists in my work as many are natural healers, spiritual teachers, and transformational coaches.
The Magician’s shadow traits include being easily seduced by magic, money, and illusion. They don’t always have patience and like the Magician Apprentice want to get the results without always doing the work or practice. This alongside having very strong opinions can make them sometimes the challenging student. Or cause them to not reach their full potential or fall for their own illusions. They can as quickly destruct or self-destruct as transform and make great change.
The Lover or Romantic Archetype’s main light traits are feminine, love, emotions, passion, sensitivity, devotion, and commitment. This archetype is easily suppressed by strict or rigid parenting.
The Romantic or Lover Archetype’s shadow traits include their deep fear of rejection, their need for someone else, and their need to please. Lack of Self-Love and Self-Care. Can have a strong tendency towards co-dependency issues, over-attachment, and neuroticism. Suppression of the Lover Archetype can lead to all sorts of addictions and promiscuity.
Jester Archetype is also known as the Clown, Fool, Trickster, Party Host,
Jester Archetype’s main positive traits are their strong ability to have fun, and be the life and soul of the party. They have a natural ability to uplift others and get others to join in and engage in activities or communication. Tend to be entertaining and or a natural comedian. Their main motto tends to be you only live once.
Common Jester Archetype shadow traits include not always taking things seriously, because they fear being judged as boring. They often have challenges with being mature, sensible, and taking responsibility. Their darkest shadow elements include deception, lies, and manipulation.
The main reason the Jester is viewed as both positive fun and as the Trickster devious and deceptive is because of their polar opposite tendencies. The Jester can therefore be fooled by their mind, believe anything is possible, and not see their weaknesses or limits within a situation.
Orphan Archetype also known as the Communitarian, Realist, Everyday Girl Or Everyday Man
Realist Archetype’s main positive traits include their strong abilities of equality, they are normally highly sociable, and are particularly relatable to the man on the street. Think of the boy or girl next door.
Realist’s shadow traits include their fear of being the odd person out, excluded, so they can easily themself and their values just to be part of the group, the community.
Rebel Archetype also known as the Outlaw Archetype
Rebel Archetype’s main light traits are their Free Spirit, their ability to expand and break perceived limitations, and their level of independence.
Rebel’s main shadow traits include their fear, frustration with rules and boundaries, thinking of the Rebel without a clue, or Rebel without a cause. In the negative state, they can have a tendency to go against the grain or rules just for the sake of it. This can lead to a lot of self-destructive or self-sabotaging patterns in life, relationships, work, and business.
Ruler Archetype is also known as the Leader, Father, Royalty, or Sovereign Archetype
Ruler Archetype’s main positive attributes include their natural ability to be a leader, to lead than to be led. They tend to be authoritarian figures, that have courage, strength, and a broad view of a situation.
Shadow traits of the Ruler Archetype include repressed anger, and the need to dominate some sort of control or power over others. And their inability to see what they are suppressing rather than leading or motivating. They struggle to trust others and to delegate. And insatiable thirst for material success or status, difficulty asking for help or admitting when wrong.
Sage Archetype is also known as the Philosopher, Teacher
A Sage’s positive attributes include a strong thirst for deep wisdom, truth, and knowledge. They tend to live a life full of introspection and introversion. They tend to philosophize their life’s journey as a series of lessons and insights. The sage in some ways is the more mature, knowledgeable, and wiser Magician.
Common Sage shadow traits include they can be the never-ending student, always learning, but never taking any action or using their knowledge for any common good. Often a life that is analyzed3 than lived. Can struggle to be fully in the moment.
Introduction To The 12 Main Archetypes
Now this is just an introduction to understanding the 12 Main Archetypes. Archetypal healing goes a lot wider and deeper. When applied in the right way it can be a powerful tool in Inner Child Therapy, in Healing, and in certain types of Spiritual Coaching and Mentoring.
The reality is there are so many different recognised archetypes in the collective unconscious. So many that can be used and explored to support us in different ways.
But the most important one for you to explore your strengths and vulnerabilities- is identifying your strongest main archetype. That main archetype that shows up in you in the way you live your life every single day.
Understanding Yourself Through The 12 Main Archetypes
I believe the more we understand our main archetypes, the more we can understand ourselves. It can also be extremely helpful in identifying your strengths and those things you need to work on. I also use Archetypes as a tool to help healers, coaches, and Spiritual Teachers build a business around their strengths rather than their weaknesses. Archetypal Branding to help capture the energy and emotion of their business and them in their marketing.
Understanding Your Business Through The 12 Main Archetypes
Understanding the most dominant archetypal traits of your business can give you a great edge in business and marketing. It can help you understand the energetic traits and values of your business and the soul clients and customers your business is more aligned with.
Taking Back Your Sovereignty
Moving out of the slave into the leader, king, and queen archetype energy.
11 Common Signs Of Inner Child Wounds, Inner Child Wounding that shows up in our everyday life
So What Is Inner Child Wounds?
Well if we look at the Inner Child, the Inner Child is aspects of the human psyche, the unconscious inner child that is within us all. But the inner child within carries both light and shadow aspects. Those light and shadow aspects of the inner child stem from life experiences and life challenges that may have not been healed.
Examples of light aspects include that sense of awe and magic we see in the inner magical child or innocent child and the shadow aspects include the wounded child and also aspects of the eternal child that doesn’t want to take self-responsibility.
Common Causes Of Inner Child Wounds
Common causes of Inner Child Wounding include painful and traumatic experiences, physical, mental, emotional, and sexual abuse as well as neglect. Although deep inner child trauma is usually caused by abuse, neglect, and trauma we all have inner child wounds triggered by normal childhood experiences.
Inner child wounds can be triggered by a deeply embarrassing experience at school, a hurtful moment with a sibling, or a crossword by a parent or caregiver. For those of you who are Empaths or HSP’s, those wounds can be triggered by the painful experiences of those around you. A lot of our everyday anxiety and stress is actually triggered by inner child wounding.
There are many different approaches to healing the Inner Child, some include nurturing and re-parenting the Inner Child, Internal Family System Therapy, Archetypal and Inner Child Healing.
Accept Your Inner Child Is Wounded:
Well like any form of healing or therapy it is important to recognise your inner child has some wounding. Now as I say that it is important for you to understand at your core, you are not damaged. This sort of view creates so many other problems.
In many ways, it is our unconscious beliefs and patterns, our unconscious stories that keep certain patterns in the psyche that needs to be addressed. Once you accept that aspects of your inner child needs nurturing, needs support it helps encourage more self-awareness and self-care.
Recognise Your Inner Child Needs To Be Loved And Cared For:
The most important thing a child needs is love, acceptance. We are very good at being loving to other people, but most of us seriously struggle to love ourselves. When a child feels wounded mentally, emotionally, physically, or even spiritually that child needs love, that child needs acceptance, that child needs care.
Your Inner Child wounds needs that self-love, that self-care, and that self-acceptance it needs the right type of healing, support and inner child nurturing.
Learn To Listen To Your Inner Child:
An emotionally and mentally healthy child needs to be heard, to be understood by those who are caring for that child. Your Inner Child needs to be heard, so many Inner Child wounds begin with not abuse or trauma, but neglect, even misunderstanding. Take the time to listen to what your Inner Child needs and wants, take time to understand your inner child.
One of the easiest ways to start listening to your Inner Child is getting into the habit of daily meditation and journaling. Meditation should always come first as meditation helps us slow down the monkey mind and become more connected to our internal world. This helps you naturally become aware of those distorted and unhealthy thought patterns and behaviours, those triggers. The more you become aware of these thoughts and behaviours you can start journalling them. Art Journaling can be very helpful in-fact deeply therapeutic.
Let Your Inner Child Come Out To Play
Every child needs lots of playtime, creative time, so does your inner child. So make sure you make time for your inner child, we are never too old for some fun, especially things you loved to do in your childhood. Spending time with children especially young children is a great way to nurture your inner child, to help some of those inner child wounds especially those abandoned inner child wounds. Ylang Ylang the inner child oil can support more creative flow whilst soothing the nervous system.
Heal Your Wounded Child
Get the support, the help you need to heal your wounded child, making sure you choose someone who is suitably qualified. Inner Child Therapy and Healing is something that should always be done in a very safe and effective way. And remember it doesn’t matter how experienced a healer or therapist you are. We all need a little help to see those blind spots. I am a healer of 30 years and I still get help from other healers, therapists to support other aspects of my healing and my inner child. If you would like to learn more about my one -to one Inner Child Healing Sessions CLICK HERE
The Benefits Of Inner Child Wound Healing
When You Heal Your Inner Child Wounds You Heal The Adult You
The reality is when we heal our inner child wounds we heal the adult we are today, it helps heal our relationship not just with ourselves, but the world and those around us. Inner Child healing can help increase confidence, increase self-esteem and self-worth, encourage healthier boundaries and more effective communication in relationship. This doesn’t just help our mental and emotional wellbeing but our physical wellbeing.1
Ready To Heal Your Inner Child Wounding?
Access to up to over £4000 worth of inner child, archetypal coaching and healing, meditations and so much more in the Quantum Level of the 👇Lightworkers Portal 👇 or book a deep dive 1-2-1 inner child healing session with Eileen
Essential Flower Essences For Empaths, Sensitives, and Healers. Learn the mental and emotional benefits of flower essences, Bach essences, and other types of essences around today.
What Are Flower Essences?
Flower Essences are part of the Essence Family. You can get all sorts of essences including Plant, Gem & Crystal Essences, Environmental Essences, even Geometrical Essences.
Flower Essences are flower extracts, that are known to be mentally, emotionally, and physically balancing. Flower essences originated in the 1930’s from the work of Dr. Bach, a Medical Doctor, and Homeopath. Dr. Bach was a strong believer that “the key to good health was by emotional harmony”.
Dr. Bach went onto establish the use of 38 different flower essences to support different emotions. Each essence was obtained from either a plant, flower, or tree.
Flower essences are normally extracted through two different processes that Dr. Bach used; The sun method is used for the more delicate flower which involves floating the flower heads in water directly in the sun for approx 3 hours. The boiling the plant method tends to be more for other flowers and woodland plants that tend to blossom in lower sunlight. Both processes extract the vibration of the flowers into the water, which after being filtered is mixed with equal parts of Brandy and then classed as a stock remedy.
Different Types Of Flower Essences Today
Today there are many different types and ranges of Flower Essences and Essences from a variety of things. While studying my Diploma in Flower Essences we explored the
Australian Bush Essences
Bach Flower Essences
Findhorn Flower Essences
Later on I came to explore and use different types of essences
Divine Harmony Essences
Indigo Essences – especially the crystal essences
I have also used personally other essences created or channeled by other therapists, these include Janine Thorpe and Sally Arthurs.
My Experience Using Flower Essences
I was first introduced to Flower Essences in the early ’90s by a retired Dr practising different holistic medicine approaches. At a time in my life where I was young and ill, dealing with the physical, mental and emotional challenges of chronic and rare medical challenges in my early twenties. Conditions and symptoms that mainstream medicine couldn’t treat or offer me any support.
During this period two of my family members were involved in a serious physical assault which was extremely traumatising to them both. The practitioner that I was attending recommended they both take Rock Rose. Rock Rose was useful at helping release the terror and trauma of such an experience. Now only one chose to take the remedy, the other didn’t. The interesting thing I noticed was one sister after this dealt with the trauma more healthily than the other.
Later in my life another therapist prescribed me some Bach Remedies for a very stressful time in my life. It was a situation where I was working for an organisation where I was being put in a very difficult situation. After taking the flower essences I was so surprised how much the essences didn’t just help me feel more resilient but helped me become more self-aware, make me realise why I was struggling so much more.
I then went on to study a Diploma in Flower Essence Healing at college and began to use Flower Essences and other Essences in my work as a healer, coach and Stress Counsellor.
I was amazed at how effective it was for many clients suffering from extreme stress, Post Traumatic Stress, and Depression.
As someone who has always been extremely empathic and sensitive I found the Indigo Essences extremely beneficial at giving me a protective layer. This was particularly helpful for a few years after a Near Death Experience that left me very open spiritually and psychically. So much so that I was feeling others’ emotional and physical symptoms on a very exaggerated level.
Bach Essential Flower Essences For Empaths and Healers
Centaury for the inability to say NO. Centaury is very useful for empaths and healers anyone else who struggle to be assertive, struggle to stand up for themself. The people pleasers, the over givers, those tend to put others first and struggle to say NO. For those with co-dependency traits.
Crab Apple carries the energy of purity, many healers and intuitive’s find it helpful to clean the energy of other people’s trauma or negative energy. Wounded healers and unruly empaths can too easily absorb or take on the trauma or suffering of their clients or those around them.
Oak is for the individual who tends to be very strong, capable, and self-reliant. But tend to work very hard ( classical workaholic) who tend to push their limits, work through challenges without taking time out, breaks, etc
Star Of Bethlehem is a very effective flower essence to help heal old trauma, abuse, loss, and grief. Because Empaths and Healers tend to attract more situations where people are sharing their trauma and suffering. This not only exposes them to other people’s pain and suffering but is more likely to trigger personal wounds, memories not addressed that are still held in the cellular body. So is very supportive during Inner Child Therapy.
Walnut is a powerful essence to support us with any sort of transition in life. But it is also extremely helpful as a protection against outside influences, think about the protective shell around the Walnut. So walnut is extremely helpful for empaths who struggle to create healthy boundaries.
Indigo Essences For Empaths and Healers
The two I found very beneficial were
Bubble from Chrystal Series. This basically helps give you a feeling of an energetic bubble from Environmental Stress. Today so many healers and empaths are spending a lot of time online or around Electromagnetic Frequencies that can be very harsh on our energetic field.
Software from Chrystal Series. This essence is supposed to filter out the heavy energies coming towards your energetic field, Now this was designed for babies but as someone who developed extreme sensitivity, especially severe noise sensitivity that would trigger seizures. I found this very helpful at supporting my nervous system and help me be less affected by other people’s wounding and distortions.
Others Indigo Essences that Empaths, HSP’s and Healers may find beneficial include
Pink 4 from the Pink Essences will help you find a deeper more stronger connection to self. This is particularly important if you are a healer, coach, or therapist who is supporting others.
Pink 5 from the Pink Essences which helps you connect to source energy. Many healers assume that they are always connecting to source energy but as an experienced healer of 30 years I know this is not always the case for even those who
As you can see there are many different types of flower essences and other types of essences available to choose from. Explore the different types of flower essences, I find the indigo essences are the easiest for many people to intuitively choose from.
Eileen a highly experienced, healer, therapist, coach with a Diploma in Flower Essences Healing helps empaths and healers live more of their life and soul purpose with ease. Eileen offers Inner Child Healing, Spiritual Business Coaching alongside her online Stress Coach Training School.
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Heal Your Magical Child– Your Inner Magician Archetype and Inner Wounded Child. Learn why healing your inner alchemist and magician archetype can help you in your life, work, and spiritual business.
I am very familiar with some of the most beautiful light and disruptive shadow aspects of the magical child. The powerful gifts of the alchemist and magician But equally the common sabotaging patterns when the Alchemist is coming from a state of fear, anxiety, trauma, lack, or rejection.
I see everyday examples of the wounded magical child in so many wounded healers, coaches, intuitive, and spiritual teachers. Like most healers, I have been working on those patterns in my own life for many years.
As a highly empathic sensitive, I see many unruly empaths and healers also very disconnected from their divine and magical child. Embedded in core wounds that are keeping them stuck and afraid of their most beautiful, magical, and powerful gifts. Which they have not yet learned to fully harness.
The reality is when you can tap into and heal not just your inner child but your magical child, you can start to make big shifts. Big shifts in recognizing your power, owning and honouring your gifts, life, and soul purpose that is why shadow work and inner child work are so powerful.
But Inner Child Therapy just like any form of deep soul and trauma work should always be done by someone who has the right skill set. Make sure you choose a therapist or healer who understands and is qualified and experienced to work at a deep soul level and with trauma.
Unfortunately, I have witnessed and been on the other side of Inner Child work by healers who hadn’t a clue what they were doing. Who had no understanding or experience of working with trauma, no understanding of the psychological damage they can do when they don’t approach Inner Child Healing in a safe effective therapeutic way?
Building Connection With Your Magical Child
With any type of Inner Child work, the initial connection with the inner child must be built on trust. Especially in those who have suffered a lot of trauma, building strong inner child connections can take patience and time. If the healer or therapist rushes the process or doesn’t know what they are doing, this can cause further issues by pushing the inner child into more hiding.
So when trying to heal your Magical Child make sure you understand you are dealing with your inner child’s view of their world, their story. Make sure you get the right help and support from someone who can help hold your inner child in a safe space.
How To Connect With Your Magical Child
Get Quiet:
You won’t find your inner magical child in busyness or chaos. It is so important to take time to switch off from distractions, relax, and generally be in the moment. Like any child, your inner child can only be heard properly when you take time to be quiet, to be still.
Look For Magic And Miracles:
Young children tend to see the magic and awe in everything around them. Their untainted innocence and sense of wonder help* them see the beauty and magic of life and every living creature. They fully immerse themself in so many things we as adults don’t notice or take for granted. So start noticing the magic, the miracles that are here every single day.
Make Time For Fun And Play:
Too much work doesn’t just make jack a boring boy it makes him an unhealthy and unhappy boy. Make a list of all the fun things you enjoyed as a child and start bringing them into your daily and weekly life. Don’t let any distortive thoughts around age, or what you should and shouldn’t do stop you from having some inner child fun. To stay happy and healthy build a strong connection with your eternal child your playful child. Make time for hobbies, things you enjoy doing even those things you love to do but aren’t very good at, and even those things that get very very messy.
Honour Your Magical Child:
When you honour the innocent and magical aspects of your core, you honour your greatest potential and soul desires. The greatest abuse to the Magical Child, or the Innocent Child is not owning, valuing, or honouring your gifts. Stop being ashamed or fearful of your gift learn how to nurture them and develop them with the right help. Not fully honouring or developing your gifts or mastering your skills can lead to all sorts of problems. Think of the devastation left behind by the impatient sorcerer’s apprentice and you get the ideal. Many wounded magicians end up being more attracted to dark and illusion than light and pureness without even realising it.
Unlock Your Inner Alchemist:
The alchemist and magician’s archetypal traits love to experiment with new ideas, concepts, blends, and remedies. Anything that will support create change and shifts. That is why many magician archetypes become aromatherapists, herbalists, homeopaths, flower essence practitioners. Others become mindset practitioners, hypnotherapists, life coaches, energy, and spiritual healers. Or are attracted to many of these tools in their work, my inner alchemist inspired me to study many of these things.
Develop Discernment and Wisdom:
Part of the Magical Child’s journey is about treading the line between dark and light so they can learn how to transform from the dark. So it is very much about developing discernment and wisdom which too often comes from experience than just insight. The deeply wounded Magician and Alchemist Archetype that has been more abused than empowered is easily seduced by power, financial, or celebrity success at any cost. The healed and wise Master Magician has developed discernment and wisdom. They recognise that all that glitters is not gold and that the greatest most precious gold comes from a pure heart and soul.
If you are Ready To Heal more of your Magical Child?
Experience More Of Your Inner Magic And Inner Power In 2024.
