7 Signs You Are Being Gaslighted In Therapy Or Healing
What is gaslighting? And what are some of the most common signs of being gaslighted in therapy, healing or coaching? How to deal with a therapist, healer or even coach that is gaslighting you.
What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is basically a manipulative tactic one person uses to gain control or power over someone else by basically seeding doubt in someone else’s mind of their own reality. By trying to instil confusion over the person’s own memories, beliefs and sanity.
Gaslighting is a form of control and in many ways psychological abuse and although narcissistic gaslighting is a widely recognised behaviour pattern adopted by narcissists.
Most of us experience some form of gaslighting in our life at some time, especially in situations where we are vulnerable and there is an imbalance of power.
That is why sadly gaslighting at work and in the patient-to-doctor and client-to-therapist relationship is so common. It is not always caused by deliberate abuse or even recognised but it is something I see evidence of in a big way every single day.
We can all get caught up in it gaslighting in subtle ways even though it can be extremely damaging even traumatising to the individual’s psyche, self-confidence and self-esteem.
Gaslighted By The Medical And Healing Profession
I spent years being gaslighted by the medical profession and health practitioners, who didn’t believe the medical challenges I was dealing with.
Mainly due to their own lack of awareness, insight and experience.
It taught me valuable lessons about how well the wounded healer within us all can mean well but can also cause harm to the clients we are supposed to help heal and empower.
And made me question so much around the potential harm around so much fast-track training in the therapy, healing and coaching sector. Especially when I met so many people including clients who were gaslighted by the people that they were supposed to protect them.
Psychological abuse that would have me questioning my own sanity, nearly cost me my eye, my life and the loss of tens of thousands of pounds in the wrong types of therapy and healing.
It highlighted how much a little bit of knowledge and the need to be right or in control can be dangerous even in the most well-meaning individual.
And how much our own personal agenda, our own personal bias and beliefs as a therapist can seriously thwart, harm or sabotage another person’s healing process and self-empowerment.
A more recent visit to a chiropractor highlighted the cost of this problem. After revealing extreme trauma and misalignment to my spine, shoulder, head and body (4 inches of misalignment in very key areas of my body) that went in many ways undiagnosed and untreated for so long that it had caused even more complications. Because of such a push by others what I was experiencing was more psychological when it was physiological.
Sadly this is becoming a huge problem in some forms of healing and therapy, where too many healers lacking expertise, knowledge and awareness are gaslighting their clients’ reality into such an unhealthy degree that many clients are questioning their reality or feel too ashamed, guilty to seek they help they really need.
Gaslighting In The Workplace
Gaslighting in the workplace is one of the most psychologically abusive forms of control in the workplace. It can lead to extreme mental and emotional challenges for the victim or victims. It is something that is not always easy to address, especially when a well-seasoned narcissist knows how to play the victim and the environment well..
Gaslighting In Today’s Society
Sadly gaslighting by people in government and power has never been as strong in the West and worldwide as we have seen over the last few years. This alongside horrendous censorship has created a mass amount of manipulation and abuse of power. This can leave the people questioning their reality, in a state of confusion and disempowerment, a place where the abusers want their victims to be so they can control them even further.
7 Common Signs Of Being Gaslighted In Therapy
Signs of gaslighting in therapy, healing, counselling and coaching.
Creates Doubt/Confusion:
The therapist or healer ignites doubt, and confusion or even tries to trivialise or twist your reality about a situation. This is very common when your reality does not fit someone else’s belief system or agenda. Now of course in certain types of therapy, it is the therapist’s job to help you renavigate distorted thinking. But there is a fine line between twisting someone’s reality and helping them create healthier thinking patterns.
Constantly Tears You Down:
They will tear you down, then try to build you back up, tear you down, build you back up in a way that creates energetic chaos and instability. It feels very unsafe and in many ways is extremely ungrounding and even traumatizing.
Ignite Shame And Guilt:
Often an abusive therapist will take advantage by deliberately igniting shame, and guilt in their client as a way to gain power or control over the client in the session. Or even blame them for their mistakes or ignorance, shifting responsibility for their harmful actions or ignorance onto the client.
Actions Don’t Reflect Words:
They will tell you they are here to help you or support you but their actions imply the exact opposite when you are being gaslighted in therapy, counselling or coaching.
Attempt To Control Your Decisions:
Another way gaslighting can show up is when a healer, therapist or coach tries to control your decisions. They will try to exert power, and control over the decisions you make in your life, relationships, health or business. This is also seen in health professionals or therapists who believe they are the answer to all of your problems and encourage co-dependency issues.
Create Co-Dependency Issues:
Gaslighting often has a huge impact on the victim’s self-esteem and self-confidence this and the constant questioning of their reality and sanity leads them to be more vulnerable to mental and emotional instability and co-dependency issues in the client-to-therapist or professional relationship.
Misdiagnose You:
Sadly a very common form of gaslighting in the medical and healing profession today is misdiagnosing someone as crazy or that someone’s symptoms are all in their head rather than in their physical reality. We see this a lot in newer healers, therapists and health professionals who have a little bit of knowledge, think they know it all and as we say don’t know what they don’t know. It often comes from lack of experience, knowledge and lack of awareness.
How To Deal With Being Gaslighted
How to deal with gaslighting in a therapy, healing or coaching session.
Recognise You Are Being Gaslighted:
It is so important to know when you are being gaslighted, awareness is key. When people talk about gaslighting they often just think about gaslighting in an abusive relationship. But gaslighting happens in different facets of life.
There is a very fine line between a therapist or healer who deliberately manipulates, bullies, gaslights or even coerces you to diminish your power and ability to decide what is right for you. Or one who is just naive and unaware but sadly both can be damaging.
Stand In Your Truth:
Stand in your truth, when being gaslighted. Don’t let someone try to manipulate your experiences. Although some types of therapy and healing are there to help us expand or way of thinking, to help us see our reality is a perception and what we have attracted and manifested into our life.
Don’t let any spiritual or wellbeing professional try to doubt or diminish your personal truth, your experiences. because of their inability to handle, deal or listen to your truth. If you are experiencing serious abuse of power don’t be scared to call them out.
Remember They Haven’t Walked In Your Shoes:
Remember that person has not walked or lived in your shoes, they are only seeing a tiny snap shot of your life from their own lens. That lens could be crystal clear or it could be very distorted. We have to be open to our own blind spots and know we all have our own way of seeing the world, which may or not be truth. But therapists can also have a certain bias, it is why therapists of psychology often see their clients mostly through their psychological perceptions, why many inner child therapists tend see their clients challenges through the eyes of mental and emotional trauma from childhood. And why many bodyworkers mostly view their clients challenges through the world of physiological stress, trauma or unhealthy posture.
Listen To Your Own Soul:
The clearer your connection to your heart, soul and god connection, the easier it is to become resilient to other people’s distortions, projections and energetic interferences. This come from not just a good soul connection but good soul power.
The problem is if you are really energetically sensitive and highly empathic, you are also more open to other people’s wounding and trauma in the collective and this is where it can get energetically confusing,
So in the process of your own healing it is so important to choose not just the right therapist or healer but one with the right skillset and tools for your specific needs that will help honour your soul’s path.
Healing From Being Constantly Gaslighted
One of my biggest lessons has been the importance of choosing the right therapist or healer for me. Learning to ask the right questions and look for key signs that someone may or may not have the expertise or level of awareness or consciousness I need or want.
This includes investing in healers and therapists who are not just about getting the certificates but actually do the inner work.
One of the reasons I now personally choose to mostly invest in therapists, healers and wellness practitioners who have been in the field a long time, highly conscious and awake lightworkers who are highly invested in their own healing journey and spiritual growth. Awake enough to know what is going on in the world.
None of us are perfect, we are all learning, growing and expanding in consciousness and awareness and it is important you choose a therapist or healer that aligns with you.
The last thing you need in the process of trying to heal from gaslighting trauma from a therapist is to face further gaslighting from another healer or therapist or work with a therapist or healer who is not self-aware enough to support you in the best way.
End Any Therapist Agreement That Isn’t Working
Don’t be shy or scared about ending any agreement with a healer or therapist where you feel it is just not working. I know personally I have spent thousands of pounds on healing and therapy that wasn’t the right fit. At times I went to healers and therapists for years just because I felt coerced or obliged.
Avoid working with any therapist or healer who tries to manipulate you into working with them or believes you should be going to them because you know them. This is extremely unprofessional and unethical and in many cases, it can be better to go to someone you don’t know on a personal level.
Self Compassion And Self-Forgiveness
Be kind and compassionate towards yourself, therapy and healing is a process, we all have wounds and challenges that we need help and support with at times for so many reasons. When we are vulnerable and seeking help or answers we don’t always make the wisest choices.
Bring in self-compassion and self-forgiveness and of course forgiveness for the other who is only functioning from their level of consciousness or awareness at that point.
And remember like all forms of healing, take one day at a time, be open to miracles but be patient with yourself when that healing takes a little longer than you hoped or planned.
Essential Flower Essences For Empaths, Sensitives, and Healers. Learn the mental and emotional benefits of flower essences, Bach essences, and other types of essences around today.
What Are Flower Essences?
Flower Essences are part of the Essence Family. You can get all sorts of essences including Plant, Gem & Crystal Essences, Environmental Essences, even Geometrical Essences.
Flower Essences are flower extracts, that are known to be mentally, emotionally, and physically balancing. Flower essences originated in the 1930’s from the work of Dr. Bach, a Medical Doctor, and Homeopath. Dr. Bach was a strong believer that “the key to good health was by emotional harmony”.
Dr. Bach went onto establish the use of 38 different flower essences to support different emotions. Each essence was obtained from either a plant, flower, or tree.
Flower essences are normally extracted through two different processes that Dr. Bach used; The sun method is used for the more delicate flower which involves floating the flower heads in water directly in the sun for approx 3 hours. The boiling the plant method tends to be more for other flowers and woodland plants that tend to blossom in lower sunlight. Both processes extract the vibration of the flowers into the water, which after being filtered is mixed with equal parts of Brandy and then classed as a stock remedy.
Different Types Of Flower Essences Today
Today there are many different types and ranges of Flower Essences and Essences from a variety of things. While studying my Diploma in Flower Essences we explored the
Australian Bush Essences
Bach Flower Essences
Findhorn Flower Essences
Later on I came to explore and use different types of essences
Divine Harmony Essences
Indigo Essences – especially the crystal essences
I have also used personally other essences created or channeled by other therapists, these include Janine Thorpe and Sally Arthurs.
My Experience Using Flower Essences
I was first introduced to Flower Essences in the early ’90s by a retired Dr practising different holistic medicine approaches. At a time in my life where I was young and ill, dealing with the physical, mental and emotional challenges of chronic and rare medical challenges in my early twenties. Conditions and symptoms that mainstream medicine couldn’t treat or offer me any support.
During this period two of my family members were involved in a serious physical assault which was extremely traumatising to them both. The practitioner that I was attending recommended they both take Rock Rose. Rock Rose was useful at helping release the terror and trauma of such an experience. Now only one chose to take the remedy, the other didn’t. The interesting thing I noticed was one sister after this dealt with the trauma more healthily than the other.
Later in my life another therapist prescribed me some Bach Remedies for a very stressful time in my life. It was a situation where I was working for an organisation where I was being put in a very difficult situation. After taking the flower essences I was so surprised how much the essences didn’t just help me feel more resilient but helped me become more self-aware, make me realise why I was struggling so much more.
I then went on to study a Diploma in Flower Essence Healing at college and began to use Flower Essences and other Essences in my work as a healer, coach and Stress Counsellor.
I was amazed at how effective it was for many clients suffering from extreme stress, Post Traumatic Stress, and Depression.
As someone who has always been extremely empathic and sensitive I found the Indigo Essences extremely beneficial at giving me a protective layer. This was particularly helpful for a few years after a Near Death Experience that left me very open spiritually and psychically. So much so that I was feeling others’ emotional and physical symptoms on a very exaggerated level.
Bach Essential Flower Essences For Empaths and Healers
Centaury for the inability to say NO. Centaury is very useful for empaths and healers anyone else who struggle to be assertive, struggle to stand up for themself. The people pleasers, the over givers, those tend to put others first and struggle to say NO. For those with co-dependency traits.
Crab Apple carries the energy of purity, many healers and intuitive’s find it helpful to clean the energy of other people’s trauma or negative energy. Wounded healers and unruly empaths can too easily absorb or take on the trauma or suffering of their clients or those around them.
Oak is for the individual who tends to be very strong, capable, and self-reliant. But tend to work very hard ( classical workaholic) who tend to push their limits, work through challenges without taking time out, breaks, etc
Star Of Bethlehem is a very effective flower essence to help heal old trauma, abuse, loss, and grief. Because Empaths and Healers tend to attract more situations where people are sharing their trauma and suffering. This not only exposes them to other people’s pain and suffering but is more likely to trigger personal wounds, memories not addressed that are still held in the cellular body. So is very supportive during Inner Child Therapy.
Walnut is a powerful essence to support us with any sort of transition in life. But it is also extremely helpful as a protection against outside influences, think about the protective shell around the Walnut. So walnut is extremely helpful for empaths who struggle to create healthy boundaries.
Indigo Essences For Empaths and Healers
The two I found very beneficial were
Bubble from Chrystal Series. This basically helps give you a feeling of an energetic bubble from Environmental Stress. Today so many healers and empaths are spending a lot of time online or around Electromagnetic Frequencies that can be very harsh on our energetic field.
Software from Chrystal Series. This essence is supposed to filter out the heavy energies coming towards your energetic field, Now this was designed for babies but as someone who developed extreme sensitivity, especially severe noise sensitivity that would trigger seizures. I found this very helpful at supporting my nervous system and help me be less affected by other people’s wounding and distortions.
Others Indigo Essences that Empaths, HSP’s and Healers may find beneficial include
Pink 4 from the Pink Essences will help you find a deeper more stronger connection to self. This is particularly important if you are a healer, coach, or therapist who is supporting others.
Pink 5 from the Pink Essences which helps you connect to source energy. Many healers assume that they are always connecting to source energy but as an experienced healer of 30 years I know this is not always the case for even those who
As you can see there are many different types of flower essences and other types of essences available to choose from. Explore the different types of flower essences, I find the indigo essences are the easiest for many people to intuitively choose from.
Eileen a highly experienced, healer, therapist, coach with a Diploma in Flower Essences Healing helps empaths and healers live more of their life and soul purpose with ease. Eileen offers Inner Child Healing, Spiritual Business Coaching alongside her online Stress Coach Training School.
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Why Do Empaths Struggle With Self-Love And Self-Care?
Why do so many empaths struggle with overwhelm, exhaustion, and burnout?
Have so many issues around boundaries and feeling so much.
The Empaths Struggle
So many empaths struggle to say NO, many find it difficult to create and maintain healthy energetic boundaries which can lead to all sorts of life, health, work, and business challenges. Especially issues around self-care, self-love, and self-compassion.
Their high level of empathy, and ability to sense other people’s physical, mental, emotional even spiritual often leads to strong tendencies towards over-caring, over-giving, and putting others’ needs before their own.
So much so that they are more likely to suffer from exhaustion, stress, compassion fatigue, and burnout. Especially when so many of you have strong archetypal traits of the martyr, fixer, healer, nurturer, and rescuer.
Why Many Empaths Struggle With Over Giving?
Empaths struggle with over-giving and caring because most empaths are in some way energetically aware and often immersed in the energy, pain, and drama of the people and things around them.
An empath will often find it difficult to differentiate their own needs, their energy field from the energy field, and the emotions of others.
Common Empathic Traits
An empath will be very aware of other people’s emotions and needs they will often absorb another person’s feelings and or pain.
Empaths often need lots of time out, empaths are so sensitive to the energy and people around them they need lots of time out.
Empaths are often highly sensitive so are more sensitive to energy; not just people but their surroundings, places, items, the world, and animals…
The empathic child will often bring these gifts through very clearly but if those around don’t understand and support the child’s gifts, the child will often feel confused, ashamed, and fearful which often leads to an emotional and or energetic shut-down.
Empaths can be very misunderstood like the HSP they can be categorised as too weak, too sensitive, strange, or weird because of their heightened awareness and experiences that most people have no comprehension of.
Empaths very easily lose their identity in relationships so can often avoid close or intimate relationships to protect themselves. They can find it extremely challenging to deal with controlling relationships, parents, and work colleagues.
A lot of empaths are introverted but for those with more extroverted tendencies, it is often important for them to spend time alone or resting.
Many empaths end up with burnout or other types of chronic health challenges due to poor management of their gifts.
Especially lack of boundaries, and over-attachment to being the carer, supporter, helper, healer, and nurturer. Most wounded healers are empaths.
Many empaths don’t just feel and absorb people’s emotional pain but also feel their physical pain.
How To Heal The Empaths Struggle
The empaths struggle doesn’t go away overnight in many ways it requires a multi-faceted approach, here are some useful tips I learned over the last 30 years as a healer and a highly sensitive and very unruly empath.
Get More Soul-Aligned and Soul Connected
One of the most powerful things empaths can do to become more soul-empowered and spiritually boundaries is to get more soul-connected and soul-aligned. We are more spiritually guided and aligned with our soul’s essence and our soul’s calling than energetically interfered with other people’s wounding and distortions.
Start to take one step, one moment at a time, and be less in the future, the past, or in the what-ifs. Don’t let the monkey mind run or ruin your world, get hooked up in other people’s dramas, which sadly we as empaths tend to do.
Start meditating daily. Meditation helps you not only be in the moment, and be more grounded and centered but it increases self-awareness. It will help you become more of a witness when you are giving your energy or power away to others. Sign up for my Free 5 Minute Meditation.
Inner child work is a powerful way to heal incidents in your life’s timeline where you took on unhealthy thought patterns, trauma, and suppressed emotions that are causing blockages in your health and well-being. Where your were shamed about your empathy or sensitivity.
Are you ready to turn your empathic gifts into your biggest strength?
Are you ready to nurture your spiritual and intuitive gifts?
Why healing the inner child wounds can empower us and transform us.
Healing the inner child can be a very powerful way to address all sorts of forms of dis-ease, unhealthy beliefs, and conditioning that keeps us small, keeps us in sabotaging life patterns. How we experience and see the world as a child often shapes how we show up as an adult. And this is no different for the highly empathic or sensitive child who can find the modern world a harsh place. Empaths and HSP’s struggle to thrive in life because they have struggled to find healthy ways to survive and create healthy boundaries in their childhood.
No matter how healthy or unhealthy or childhood was we all can benefit from healing the inner child wounds that show up in our adult life. That form of archetypal and personality traits, that specifically keep us stick in the survival archetypal traits.
Healing The Inner Child If Your An Empath Or Highly Sensitive Person
So many HSP’s and empaths struggle because of their level of sensitivity and heightened awareness.
Highly sensitive people are generally more sensitive to their own wounding and surroundings. The highly sensitive empath takes that a bit further and they will sense the energy and emotional pain of others and in places . Some of us also take on the energetic imprints or physical pain of others, when we haven’t learned healthy boundaries and how to harness our spiritual and sensitive gifts.
Many sensitives and empaths are the Spiritual Seers, the Spiritual Forecasters, Psychic, Mediums, Starseeds, Earthseeds and Wayshowers. Which comes with it’s own difficulties and challenges.
Every HSP and Empath is unique but like everyone in life, they will also have their own unique gifts, own unique personal challenges and trauma healing the inner child can help us tap into those spiritual gifts we have shut down, learn how to harness or sensitive gifts in a powerful way.
Inner Child Healing – The Highly Sensitive Child
The highly sensitive child/person has such heightened awareness than those around them that they can see, hear, feel, and interpret things to a greater degree than most people couldn’t imagine. The HSP child will often be viewed as too sensitive, too weak, too childlike, irrational, naive …
These natural gifts and traits often trigger fear and misunderstanding in the parents, siblings, and caregivers around them which is projected onto the child. They are often taught that who they are at a core level is flawed, bad, wrong, not enough. Told to toughen up, be brave, be bold, shut down their emotions, act differently; basically not be their sacred self.
Many highly sensitive children are highly empathic, intuitive and even psychic. This again can trigger tremendous fear in those around them which the child senses. So much so the child will shut down their natural traits, their natural state of being. That is why inner child work is highly recommended for empaths and the highly sensitive person.
Soul Empowerment From Healing The Inner Child
So many highly sensitive people including highly sensitive children often don’t know where they fit in. This can create a great degree of inner conflict especially when we are living in a very noisy, materialistic society. A culture that is often embedded with self-preservation and self-success than any on compassion and deep humanity for others around us.
Inner Child work can be extremely healing for the HSP who struggles to honour themself and their sensitivity. It is spiritually empowering for the empath or HSP who can’t say no and struggles with boundaries. For those who too easily take on other people’s drama or pain.
In my one to one sessions and inner child programs for sensitives and empaths. I address different aspects of the inner child. Working on the wounded child, abandoned child, the eternal child and the more positive aspects of the inner child. It is extremely healing and empowering to address underlying triggers where you felt traumatised, abandoned or disempowered. Those experiences where we have shut down mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
Unlock Your Gifts From Healing The Inner Child
Clients and therapists experience many benefits and insights from inner child work. Even simply listening to inner child healing guided meditations that have been created by someone qualified to do. Because so many HSP’s haven’t learned to own and harness their sensitive gifts in a positive way. You may not recognise that some of your physical symptoms are just signs your gifts are trying to show up. Or maybe you need to start owning your power, your sovereignty.
Maybe you need to say NO? Stop allowing others to take advantage, control, or impose their beliefs or wants onto you. Maybe you need to put yourself first? So many Empaths and HSP’s are over givers, the wounded healer, victim, martyr, or rescuer.
How Can You Reduce Stress As A Highly Sensitive Person
The Highly Sensitive Person
is so much more sensitive to external and internal stimuli they need to be more pro-active to reduce stress levels. Anxiety and stress are high in our western busy and over-stimulated way of life. But that doesn’t mean just because you are a highly sensitive person or highly empathic that you need to suffer from chronic anxiety or chronic stress.
Chronic Stress As A Highly Sensitive Person
Chronic stress is triggered by our fears, it is our reaction to the world around us, the way we psychologically and physiologically respond to situations, people, and the things around us. The biggest cause of stress today is our mental thoughts; our conditioning, what we attach and give power to.
But external stimuli such as environmental noise, information overload can certainly play their part so can environmental and internal toxins. But the way we view the world, situations, very much represents how we show up in the world.
If you are an HSP, a highly sensitive person who views the world as a highly harsh, uncaring, and dangerous place. You will show up in the world as a very fearful, highly anxious, sensitive soul. Who struggles to survive never mind find their way in the world.
The highly sensitive person or highly empathic person has tremendous gifts to share with the world. They have tremendous compassion and huge insight into those around them. Especially highly sensitive empaths because they are highly intuitive and highly sensitive to the psyche, the energy and emotions of the people, places and situations around them.
But this can make the sensitive person more vulnerable to other’s anxiety and stress, to mass consciousness, and to many other things that most people can comprehend.
Some famous people who have been regarded as HSP a highly sensitive person include Albert Einstein, Carl Jung, Diana- The Princess Of Wales, Judy Garland, Mother Theresa.
6 Simple Ways You Can Deal With Stress As A Highly Sensitive Person
Assertiveness- learn how to say NO, one of the biggest challenges many HSP’s and particular empaths have a challenge with. Is the ability to say NO. Empaths feel others’ pain and fears so deeply they often struggle to identify their own needs. So struggle to set healthy boundaries.
Be Yourself – trying to fit in, comparing yourself to other’s, judging yourself on other’s ideas of what you should and shouldn’t be like. Is a huge source of distress. You are more than enough, even in within your vulnerability, your physical, emotional, and even mental sensitivity, you are enough. You are unique, special, wonderful and here to be you.
Get Soul Connected – Develop a strong soul connection, build a deeper spiritual connection within yourself, your heart and soul. Become more soul-aligned in our spiritual path, to follow our own soul’s guidance and own truth.
Grounded – become more grounded physically, mentally, and emotionally get out of your head, and get connected to your body and the earth around and underneath you. I find the essential oil blend On Guard a great aid. When you are more grounded your energetic field is much stronger so you have healthier boundaries to other people’s negativity and emotions.
Be In The Moment– learn how to be more present, more in the moment, take each step, each day as it comes, let go of yesterday’s and tomorrow’s, see below as meditation and mindfulness can help. You tend to be more grounded and find it easier to naturally assert your own needs when you live in the moment.
Meditate – meditation is a powerful way to connect with the self, that space where stillness and calm resides, where wisdom, true insight and guidance evolves from. Meditation helps quieten the mind and helps develop a powerful connection with our inner wisdom.
Unplug- a highly sensitive person or highly empathic person usually needs to unplug and switch off more frequently than other’s do. HSP’s tend to have sensory processing issues which affects the autonomic nervous system. So the slightest over stimulation can trigger the “fight or flight” stress response. Leaving the HSP highly wired, anxious, stressed, and exhausted.
Cushioning – is a stress management strategy that helps cushion you from the impact of a stressor or stressors. It involves using any practical, therapeutic, or strategical strategy that will help you reduce stress and become more resilient to the stressors of everyday life. It can involve taking action, managing or reducing the stressor in question but also includes an aspect of balance into your life. It involves having a more healthier approach to your everyday life, so you are generally more stress-resilient.
Overcoming Chronic Stress As A Highly Sensitive Person
No matter how long you have suffered chronic anxiety or chronic stress as a highly sensitive person or an empath. You don’t just have to live with it, your life as an HSP doesn’t have to be stressful.
I was a highly anxious, stressed out teenager, who suffered chronic unworthiness, who tried to relentlessly to deny and resist my empathic traits and highly sensitive traits.
I started to suffer extreme health challenges including burn-out from the age of 19. And spent a large part of my twenties extremely ill, exhausted, and isolated. Out of this experience, I became a meditation teacher, healer, coach, and stress management expert.
I have helped many people including many highly sensitive people and highly sensitive children move from a chronic anxious or stress state of being to a more calm confident way of being.
No matter how challenging life may feel at the moment believe me your life as a highly sensitive person can be far richer, peaceful, lighter, and free than you can imagine with the right tools, the right healing and support.
You can learn turn to your sensitivity into your super power gifts, your super powers I share more in my Lightworkers Portal and my 👇 Free 6 Day Stress Resilience Course For Lightworkers 👇
Noise Sensitivity –The Challenges of Living With Hyperacusis
When most people talk about noise sensitivity they often think of simply an annoyance to specific noises. But noise sensitivity can be an extremely painful and a huge disabling challenge for many sufferers. I know as I began suffering from a severe form of hyperacusis over the last three years, which has made me mostly housebound.
Slight Noise Sensitivity
As someone who is highly empathic and sensitive, I have slight noise sensitivity as long as I can remember. I always had challenges sleeping with even the slightest noise around me. But this started to become a much bigger problem when it developed into a painful and debilitating severe form of hyperacusis. Specific frequencies began to trigger extreme pain in my right ear, major balance issue and a complex movement disorder including non-epileptic seizures that leaves me with no control over my body.
Chronic Lyme Disease And Chronic Sound Sensitivity
My noise sensitivity issues appear to be caused by at least 30 years of bacterial/viral implications. But the cause is not clear with a complex medical history; M.E./CFS, suspected untreated chronic lyme at 14 years of age, head and face trauma, a rare cranial condition and survivor of sepsis. Although according to Anthony Williams book the Medical Medium Many of these neurotoxicity symptoms are simply the fourth stage of very a rare form of Epstein Barr Virus. But I am unsure if I will ever know for sure.
However the reality is noise sensitivity seems to be triggered by a variety of causes, diseases, accidents, trauma and stressors. Sound intolerance also appears to be a common problem in those who are highly sensitive or have sensory processing disorders. Many clinicians used to assume noise sensitivity has a purely psychological basis. But more research and evidence is demonstrating many of the physiological causes behind various types of noise sensitivity.
Noise sensitivity challenges are very common for those with sensory processing challenges on the Autism/Asperger Spectrum. Which can seriously impact their quality of daily living, education and their careers.
Noise sensitivity is something that is certainly misunderstood and misdiagnosed by many medical practitioners. Especially as there is so many different classifications and causes of sound sensitivity.
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Hyperacusis – is usually linked with amplified sensitivity or auditory increase in the central auditory system which is the hearing pathways of the brain. A “collapsed tolerance to normal environmental sound” The Hyperacusis Network. It is suggested that unexpected exposure to deafening noise can sometimes trigger hyperacusis. But there are some medical conditions associated with hyperacusis which include Bell’s palsy, Lyme disease, migraine, post head injury syndrome and William’s syndrome. Also many people with hyperacusis have tinnitus and many with tinnitus have hyperacusis.
There are two forms of hyperacusis; cochlear hyperacusis and vestibular hyperacusis
Cochlear Hyperacusis; annoyance, distress, ear pain and to very quiet or high-pitched sounds.
Vestibular Hyperacusis; balance, postural control and vertigo problems, nausea, fatigue. Known sometimes as Audiogenic Seizure Disorder and Tullio’s syndrome
Hypersensitive Hearing – where someone is born with a hyper sensitivity to frequencies above 70 decibels normally viewed as problematic frequencies. This is common in the autism spectrum.
Misophonia – is when someone hates a particular sound but it is not collapsed tolerance to sound. Usually there is an atypical limbic and autonomic nervous system response ( fight or flight response) which is related to the auditory system. Examples are repetitive sounds, consonants, sniffing, lip smacking which can often trigger emotional rage.
Phonophobia – is a sub-category of misophonia where one suffers anxiety/fear of events related to their noise sensitivity. Which triggers isolation in the outside world.
Recruitment – is when there is an increased perception of noise sensitivity when someone is suffering from a type of hearing loss where they cannot hear certain pitches but can hear others. Which is perceived as too quiet to dramatically loud.
Tips And Support For Noise Sensitivity Issues
Ear Plugs or Ear Phones: For most types of noise sensitivity challenges recommendations are that ear plugs should not be relied on for day to day living. As there is suggestions that in the long run this may reduce tolerance to every day sounds. But it certainly would depend on the type and degree of noise sensitivity. I personally do not use ear plugs in my home doing most tasks. But because my noise sensitivity triggers severe balance challenges and a violent movement disorder. I choose to use ear phones outside otherwise I have very limited control over my bodily movements.
Noise Cancellation Ear Phones: Some people find noise cancellation useful, I find for long car drives they can cancel out and reduce some noise and can help reduce general over stimulation.
Pink Noise Devices: For some types of noise sensitivity pink noise devices are used as a form of sound therapy.
Meditation– helps you access that inner calm, peace inside despite what is happening around you. It helps you become more mentally, emotionally and physically resilient. Meditation has helped keep me so mentally strong over the last 25 years. It has helped me find my own equivalent to a power nap, when I can’t sleep due to noise issues.
Craniosacral Therapy – can be helpful where there has been noise sensitivity after trauma to the head and neck. Also bowen and osteopathy is useful for again alignment issues due to trauma.
Healthier Thinking – it is important with any condition or life challenge that a person has the ability to look at their life challenges and focus on what they can do, rather than what we feel disabled by.
Stress Management – generally reducing and manging your anxiety and stress can seriously help reduce any hyper sensitivity to external stimuli. And can be a great cushion at helping you remain as emotionally, mentally and physically strong against noise stressors.
CBD Oil: Cannabis derived oil and paste is used by many who’s noise sensitivity appears to be related to their medical conditions. It is widely uses by lymes and now more popular in ME/CFS sufferers.Many people with noise sensitivity issues including those with sensory processing issues seem to be benefiting from CBD or marijuana in some component.
On Guard Blend: Another product that I have found helpful in my building my sound tolerance is the essential oil blend by doTERRA . These are highly vibrational essential oils which appear to strengthen our energetic boundaries, boost the immune system and protect our body against viruses and microbes.
Manging Your Noise Sensitivity Issues
These are just some of the ways you can help manage your noise sensitivity issues. If like me travelling in a car is a huge problem because you can actually feel a lot of vibrations through the nerves of your body. I find sitting and placing my feet on memory foam cushions and a duvet helps to cushion me from the impact. Some cars are more better than others in relation to the seat and height design
I am fortunate enough to start seeing slowly but surely a reduction in the severity of my symptoms. Having lived with chronic health challenges that have disabled me in various ways for many years. I choose to focus daily on my abilities, strengths and gifts. I am very fortunate to be able to do my work online. Although it can have its challenges.
But when we focus on the things we can change and accept those we can’t. We come from a much stronger, calm and happier place. Noise sensitivity can be extremely challenging, it needs more research/awareness especially on the actual conditions that cause it. But meanwhile the healthiest thing you can do is look after your own health and wellbeing, especially your anxiety and stress levels. As anxiety and stress will certainly make you more hyper-sensitive .
If you are looking for help and support in managing your sensitivity challenges. I share lots of tips and resources in my free facebookcommunity Soul Care For Sensitives
